A Court of Shadows and Flames
by SassyDanii
Summary: Fifty years have passed since the War with Hybern, and now a unity resides in all seven Courts. Yet, a new threat emerges from an unknown location and it's causing a upstair once again. The only link to this unknown threat is a peculiar Fae half-breed, Viviana. Her blood holds uncanny abilities that run wild and untamed. Only one person can keep her from slipping into the darkness.
1. Chapter 1

_Black clouds rolled in, the sky once blue now became dark as the sun was shrouded. Against the trunk of the massive oak tree that grew in the middle of the garden, I sat reading. Mother had bought a book for me to read, telling me reading and writing was the most important in this world. In order to survive. I read the lines, my ten-year-old mind able to read with words without hesitation._

 _My two little siblings, Azariah and Devyn who were both nine years old, sat beside me. Their heads peering over my arms as they listened to me speak. Azariah looked up at me, hazel eyes were wide and fearful, her mess of light grey_ locks _wild. "Big sis… ta." She struggled a little to speak, "We should go into the house." She pointed to the little hut nestled between trees, smoke coming from the chimney._

 _"Of course, Mother would be mad if we stayed out here," I replied with a grin. I picked up Devyn, he could not walk properly or for long, and he was much lighter than an average eight-year-old boy. He hummed softly; murmuring incoherent words as he admired the little wooden doll Father had carved for him._

 _Azariah took off, squealing and laughing as she bounded through the grass, her too small silver wings flapping as her little feet thundered up the wooden veranda and into the house. Devyn looked up at me, his dark purple eyes held a thoughtful glint as if he knew the world and its secrets. "Will you… Keep me safe?" He_ asked, _a wind picked up now, his dark brown hair whipping a little. "Of course, Devyn. Forever and ever." I kissed his forehead._

 _Once inside the little hut, smells of spices and herbs filled my nostrils and my mouth watered a little. It was an open plan house, except for two doors that lead into Mother and Father's room and my room who I shared it with my siblings. The walls were full of little paintings, handprints, and carvings. The hut was our canvas, a place of peace and love. Nothing could get in here, nothing at all._

 _Mother stood before the hearth, stirring something in the three pots that hung over hot coals. Her waist length hair, dark ash like the clouds outside, was loose and had flowers woven in. Her plain gown hugged her spindly form; I could see two lumps between her shoulder blades. But she was nonetheless beautiful. Mother turned, her grin spread across her oval face as I set Devyn down on his chair at the table._

 _"Dinner will soon be served." She simply stated, staring directly at me. "When will Father return?" I ask as I helped Mother, cutting some vegetables. "He will return shortly, he had to go collect some wood and…" She trailed off just as the sound of wings could be heard then a light thud outside. The wood creaked and moaned as Father walked into the kitchen, holding three rabbits and some wood. His hair was of caramel, his skin dark and scarred. His large wings which resembled like a_ bat, _dripped from the rain._

 _"Father!" I beamed, he set the items down before he caught me in his arms, his laugh was booming. "Vivie." He murmured into my silver hair, stroking it slowly. "I am glad you are home," I whined as he set me down and patted my head. "I was only gone for a few hours." He grinned and pinched my cheek before he made his way to Mother. She looked so relieved and joyful as he picked her up and kissed her. "Ew!" I could hear Azariah make gagging sounds from where she sat on the couch._

 _So happy, so happy they looked. So content in each other's arms. They loved each other so much. Nothing could break them apart. Nothing._

 _But_ war _was war._

 _The storm had raged on outside, lightning cracking the sky in a bright white light. The rain was relentless as it came down in heavy pelts. The wind howled and moaned a ghostly song, I stayed huddled in my bed my wings cocooning my siblings and me._

 _War was cruel._

 _I could hear Mother and Father speaking in the kitchen, the shadows I learned to control picked up their solemn voices. "How can you be so sure?" Mother asked. "I am sure. There is nothing around that shows we have been spotted." Father_ replied, _he was so sure yet he was so wrong. "If they find us-" He cut her off. "They will not. I promise." That promise was not true._

 _War was evil._

 _Another crack and the room was filled with blinding light until I found myself on the ground, my gown ripped and my skin was torn and bleeding. I was no longer on my bed, but on the ground amongst_ rubble _. Lightning continued to flash across the sky, illuminating my surroundings._

 _War was merciless._

 _Only pain and ice was within me, no warmth, no love, no joy, as I dragged my beaten body across glass and splinters of wood. To the sight, I had spotted._

 _War took lives._

 _There, in the middle of the now destroyed hut, lay my Father. His body inert. I now knelt beside him, I will never, ever, forget what I saw. His skin was shredded, his insides spilt around, his limbs twisted in ways I didn't think would go. And those wings… Beautiful, powerful wings… Only the boning of it remained._

 _And what made it worse was the pillar above him, staked and skinned, was my Mother. Her eyes were nothing but black pits, her mouth open in a silent scream. I did not know what to do, so I cried… I cried… I cried._

 _War was not kind._

 _The only thing that stopped my sobs was the feeling of someone behind me. I pulled my bloodied hands away from my face as a hand gripped my shoulder and turned me around. A figure of nothing but blackness stood there, a feral smile that stretched right across its face. Six, glowing red eyes gazed at me. I knew it and it knew me._

 _"Hello, princess." Its voice was not of this world, nor was it. And I did not fight, when it lunged for me in a scream that sounded like a million voices._

* * *

I bolted upright, screaming and thrashing. My throat was raw and dry, only a hoarse cry came from me. Someone was trying to grab me, trying to pin me trying - I lashed out, a man's voice cried out as I hurled magic at him.

There was a thud and then a hiss. I hissed right back as I blindingly looked around, going on all fours. "Show yourself," I growled, baring my teeth as I heard footsteps going around and behind me. I felt hands on my ankles and kicked wildly, wanting those hands off me. "Stop it!" The unknown male cried as I was tackled down onto a soft surface.

"Viviana, stop it!" I knew that voice but I couldn't stop trying to fight him. "No! No, let me go, you monster!" I begged, wiggling around beneath that powerful body. "Snap out of it, it's me! It's Nate!" He kept crying out.

Nate. Nate. Nate. His name chanted in my mind, the darkness in my mind struggled to stay but it eventually works, it dissipating. Until I could see again. Wide, blue-green eyes looked down at me, there was a long scratch that came from his cheekbone down to his neck. It was bleeding. That lovely tanned skin was bleeding. And I had caused it.

The green light came from the siphons on the back of his hands, it covered my hands, which had blood. I breathed hard and again panic set in me. "Get off me," I growled, narrowing my eyes at him. "No. Not until you calm down." He replied, keeping my shoulders pinned to the bed. "Get. Off. Me." I demanded and using my legs, I kicked him off.

Nate stumbled backwards as I scrambled away from him, shadows coiling around my arms and making a shield before me. My body shuddered as I gripped the bed sheets, so tightly I ripped them from my extended nails. "Just calm down, please," Nate said softly, not moving closer to me, which was a smart idea. Though I took his advice and recollected my muddled thoughts, reaching up to grip the twin wings pendant.

And that instantly calmed me. The shadow shield went down and disappeared, and my breathing was back to normal. The bed shifted until his hands gently cupped my face; Nate pushed back my matted hair slowly running his fingers through the silver strands. I met his eyes again; they were full of worry, his brows knitted. His dark, chocolate hair was a mess, sticking out this way and that way. The way he looked now, made him seem younger than thirty-four, the elegant lines of his face softened.

I kept staring at what I did to him, reaching out and touching the skin. Slowly, it sealed until only blood remained. "I'm sorry," I whispered as he pulled me into his arms, my face burying into his leathers. "It's okay. Shh…" He whispered, letting me cry silently. "It was just a dream, it wasn't real." He reminded me.

'Just a dream, just a dream… It's all over now.' I repeated in my head until I stopped crying and pulled away. I rubbed my eyes as I looked over to my left, the heavy drapes were pulled back to allow the morning sun in. "I'll go get you some water." Nate kissed my forehead before he left the room.

I got off the large canopy bed, made to fit two sets of wings. The covers, which were in different shades of greens, were a mess and were kicked off completely. A low sigh escaped me as I hastily pulled them back over and fixed the bed before I tiredly made my way to my large armoire. The wooden floors were cold against my bare feet, I needed to put in more carpets, I thought idly to myself.

My room was not all so fancy; a single bookshelf beside the armoire was loosely filled with books and wooden carvings I did. On the other side of my room, there was a large fireplace, more wooden carvings sat along the mantle. A low table, two single plush chairs and one two seaters was situated in front of the fireplace.

My collection of gowns was simple, plain almost. I did not own a single expensive thing; everything was made of wool or linen. As much as my friends wanted to buy me new things, I always refused. I did not wish to waste their money on someone like me.

I pulled out fresh undergarments and slipped them on before I pulled on a white linen gown. On top of that, I wore a deep purple woollen gown with long open sleeves and had buttons coming down from my throat and stopped just below my rib cage. I was glad that Nate had returned, so he could help with the buttons on my back, where my huge wings were. The black tips of my wings dragged behind me.

He came over and silently did them up and slipped on my shoes. He brushed off some sparkles that dripped from my wings then sighed, as it did not come off his hands. "You can wash it off." I turned to face him. Nate was a tall male, his body muscular and lean over centuries of being in the Illyrian camps. His membranous wings had light scars that peppered them. I never stared at them for long, for the fear of unwanted memories.

"Still, it's a bother." I rolled my eyes as I took a drink of water before I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. We stayed like this for a while, before Nate spoke first. "It was hard to wake you up again." I looked up at him. "I could feel you shaking and when I turned to see you… Your body was covered in shadows. I couldn't get close or even touch you." His voice was low, anxious even.

I took his hands from my waist and held them to my chest, lacing my fingers in his. "Silvy…" His nickname for me. I looked away before I let go of his hands and walked to my dresser, picking up the comb and running it through my hair, being careful of the long feathers that grew. "You know what this means." Nate urged, standing beside me. I looked at him through the mirror.

"It's a no," I said simply setting the coral coloured comb down before I braided my hair and twisting it up into a low bun. I inserted a few pins to hold it in place. I stared at my own reflection.

It was more of a shock to see how pale my skin had become, how rough and ragged my face had become. My cheeks were shallow, the rosiness I had was gone and my freckles that covered my nose and cheeks had faded. The elegant lines of my face became sharper; my plump lips a fine line. My eyes, which always struck people by the shifting colours, were dimmed, washed out almost. Dark circles lined under my eyes. Even my generous curves and fullness had somewhat narrowed down.

"You don't even look like yourself. It's draining you." Nate gripped my shoulder, turning me slowly so he could look at me again. "Azriel can help you tame it, let you regain control. You've forgotten what to do, it's been-"

"I know how long it's been, Nate." I snapped. "But I have no time to mull over it. I need to go and help Devyn." I walked past him but he grabbed my arm, yanking me back and pressing me against the dresser. "Brea has already done it. Don't walk away from me." He growled. I instantly locked up, shrinking down, "Nate, please. I just need to get out of my room. I need air." I held his intense gaze before he stepped back. "Breakfast will be held outside." He told me. I only nodded as I exited my room and into the hallway outside.

The walls were a tawny colour, the dark floorboards bringing it out. Faelights were placed at equal intervals, enough to make the hallways bright enough. Paintings hung between each space, and sometimes windows. My room was in the east wing of the house, almost at the end of the hallway. I passed doors that lead to spare rooms or occupied rooms. I passed a few servants, bidding them good morning as I finally came to the foyer; I let my fingers run along the white wooden balustrade before I descended the extravagant staircase from the right side.

The foyer had a large dome made out of glass, with a huge crystal chandelier. The sunlight hit the crystals, and it reflected many colours along the sand coloured marble floor. There was a medium sized waiting room just behind me, but no one was sitting on the couches there.

Turning away I headed to where glass doors lined the back entrance of the foyer, it lead out to the gardens. I pushed open the doors and walked down a few stairs before coming to the pebbled pathways that weaved among the rose hedges, leading to other little spots in the gardens.

I turned to the west side; a massive gazebo was shrouded in star jasmines, the white flowers swaying a little in the cool breeze. It was mid-autumn, and most of the trees that lined the very edge of the gardens were bare. Though, some flowering bushes continued to bloom, magic kept them like so.

Walking up the few stairs, a table full of steaming food greeted me. My mouth watered as I gawked at it all. "You are welcome to take some." I jumped at a females voice behind me. She was of average height, earthy coloured skin that stood out from her multi-shade blue hair. Her eyes were spring green and glittered with mischief. Her attire this morning made me feel cold, she wore a halter neck top that exposed her midriff and her bare arms, and a high waisted, pants that flared out. It matched the colour of her hair.

"I know, Nishka. I am always so amazed by how good it looks." I hugged my friend, before she pushed me to a seat and pointed at my plate. "Yes, yes, now eat. You look like shit." She didn't hesitate to speak her mind; she was very outgoing and didn't care what others thought of her.

I filled my plate with the various foods before I dug in. Just then, my siblings made an appearance, followed by Aida who was helping Devyn. I quickly stood but she waved me to sit down. I pursed my lips, feeling guilt rise in me. Aida always aided me with Devyn, followed by Brea who usually looked after them.

Azariah, who scowled at me sat across from me, wore her favourite yellow dress. It had little orange flowers sewn at the waist and stood out. "Good morning." I said to her, smiling at her. "Morning." She replied as Aida helped Devyn beside her, setting his walking stick beside him. He wore just a simple mahogany tunic with a long sleeved shirt underneath. Devyn smiled at me, but didn't say anything as he helped himself with the food.

Aida fixed her eyes on me; one was brown while the other was green. Her skin was always tanned, I always wondered if it was just a genetic thing that Spring Court residents had. Her hair was in loose golden strands, stopping at mid-back. She took a seat beside me, she wore a simple gown made of thick green velvet, the neckline had cut right across and the sleeves sat just off the shoulders and came to her wrists. A white chiffon shawl wrapped around her shoulders to finish it off. "How are you feeling?" She asked me, she noticed my crappy state as well. "I'm okay. Just tired." I replied as I went back to eating.

"I saw Nate rush into the kitchen this morning, he looked a bit beat up." Nishka spoke up from her spot down the table. "Probably because he was fucking Viviana again." Azariah muttered and I dropped my fork. She met my glare, shrugging casually, "What? It's the truth. You two are always at it." She said apathetically.

"Azariah! Don't say that." Aida gasped, looking appalled. She rolled her eyes, "Everyone swears. You can't keep me in the dark forever." Azariah was eighteen and was a big troublemaker and tended to do the opposite of what was asked. Devyn was the same age but a year younger than me; his head was always tucked in a book and usually kept to himself.

"It does not matter, you don't need to speak you your sister like that." Aida sternly said, holding the stubborn gaze of Azariah. "Whatever." She replied as she ate, muttering something under her breath.

Aida sighed softly and gave me an apologetic smile. In silence we ate, all lost in our thoughts. The sound of crunching could be heard then Nate sat beside me, kissing my cheek softly. "Morning, Nate!" Azariah beamed, she liked Nate even though she disliked it that he was with me. "Morning, Az. Devyn." He shook hands with my brother.

A tall male had followed after Nate. His near-white hair stood out against that dark mahogany skin, as well as his sea-foam coloured eyes. The planes of his face were soft, baby-like, but still nonetheless downright gorgeous. The attire he chose today was a light blue tunic with a white undershirt. The tunic had peach embellishments along the edgings, in shapes of waves. "Hello, everyone." He smiled ever so kindly; his eyes hovered over Nishka for a while as she expressed a shy smile. "Morning, Rahuel." Nishka giggled softly, both of them came from the Summer Court.

His eyes rested on me finally, I sensed the question that was forming on his lips, so I said, "And before you ask, yes I am fine. Don't worry too much." Rahuel closed his mouth and a low laugh came from him. "Of course." He nodded, giving Nate a quick look before he filled his plate.

I felt it before they appeared beside Devyn, the icy darkness that rolled over me and stirred my shadows awake. Two males took shape in the seats, looking exactly the same in facial features and clothing. Only one had pale green eyes, his skin the colour of moonlight and seemed to have trapped the light beneath the shimmering skin. His hair was brown near to black and was short cropped. He smiled, exposing needle-like teeth, "Everyone looks cheery today." Ereus mused looking over at the other. He had the same skin; his eyes were a darker shade of green and his hair completely black. "Yes, I agree, brother." Vhen smirked as he fixed the navy blue jacket he wore; beneath it was a velvet vest then a black shirt. Both brothers had an air of cunning and always looked up to no good. They were part of the Night Court; they left the Court of Nightmares for unknown reasons.

Vhen, with his cat-like eyes, seemed to bore into me, his smirk faltering a little. "You seem to be nervous, little bird." He always called me by that title, nothing else. "Just had a rough night." I replied, he cocked his head to the side, his brother freakishly mimicking it. "I can tell." Ereus said. They both shared one mind, always knowing when to speak and act. "Where is Brea and Raella?" Vhen asked, not taking any food. They had a strange diet that consisted of blood and other materials that they ate privately.

"Brea had left early this morning to collect some shipment that came in, and Raella is still asleep. She returned from a club like an hour ago." Nishka replied, making a face. "That's pretty standard for Raella." Vhen said sharply, somewhat looking annoyed. "I'm surprised she didn't bring someone home again." Ereus raised an eyebrow.

"Rare but I'm glad." Vhen muttered then realised something, "Ah, before I forget. Feyre will be having a party, her birthday is coming up and I was told that we are invited."

"Ooh! She has not had a party for a while, I wonder what changed her mind." Nishka mused. "Who knows, but apparently invitations are being handed out lately." Vhen continued. "It'll be at the House of Wind."

I had been to the House of Wind; it overlooked the beautiful city of Velaris. Our home. Still to this day, I was eternally grateful for Rhysand allowing me to live here, to make it my safe haven after the War with Hybern had ended about half a century ago. Velaris was still recovering but the love and happiness stayed strong, the Fae still continued on, never skipping a beat. Buildings had been destroyed but the residents here turned them into shrines to honour the dead and the bravery of others that fought in the War.

It's what drew me to this colourful city. The determination of the people. How they were all so selfless and never seemed to let the horrors affect them. Rhysand and Feyre had rebuilt this city, using all might, passions and determination to make this city great once again. And those actions brought a communing amongst the Fae, both High and Lesser Fae. Even the mortals as well. Some mortals still lived in fear, but that was only a small percentage. The rest had come to understand and welcome the Fae.

Looking around, I found myself sitting in silence. Everyone looked content and relaxed, enjoying the peaceful sounds of the waking city. I could hear distant voices, too far for my normal fae hearing. Only because of my shadows picking it up. I still remembered in some ways to use them to my advantage, Father had taught me briefly. But I knew, deep down, I could do more than just 'hear' and 'feel'. And that side usually became extremely hard to tame.

"Stop." I did, holding the fork to my lips, looking up and staring at Azariah. "What?" I asked, confused at her demand. "Stop eating?" She narrowed her eyes, her hazel eyes glinting with disgust. "Don't play stupid." She spat.

"Hey, calm down." Nate gently said, his hand instinctively going on my thigh. "No. I am sick of Viviana having those stupid shadows around her. Stop trying to show off." I set the fork down; my shadows twitched as light anger flared within me. "I'm not showing off, Az. It just happens." I placed my hand over Nate's, my hand was shaking.

It was the power that coursed through me, through my blood. Whenever I was threatened, angered or scared, it's spike up and start to 'protect' me in a way. But sometimes, it wasn't necessary and always caused trouble. Especially if I didn't have a good grip on it.

Azariah held my gaze, reflecting my own anger. And sadness. Deep sadness swelled in her. I felt for her, I really did. But her stubborn self always proved difficult to tame. Devyn had sunk down into the chair, his eyes darting between his sister and me.

"Sure. It happens. Your excuse for all the crap that has happened." I stood up, the chair being thrown back as I stared down at my sister. She never broke a sweat. "You and your special powers. Oooh, look at me, I'm Viviana! I'm so strong and powerful, look I can manipulate shadows. Wow!" She was edging me closer, that familiar cool darkness sweeping over me as it began to cloud my thoughts.

Nate stood up quickly, as well as the rest of the group. Devyn had made a good choice in backing away, Aida coming to his side to help him. "Azariah, enough. You have no right to-"

"Oh shut up you Illyrian bastard." She snapped at Nate, clearly taken aback at her remark. "I've had enough of you and her, both of you are disgusting. Whenever I enter a room you're either kneeling before her or she has her hand shoved down your pants. Why don't you just take her away, huh?" Nate glared at Azariah, but she still did not back down. "Take her to your camp where you can fuck her all night long."

Nate slammed his hand on the table, the plates shuddering and a few goblets toppled over. Aida was trying to pull Azariah back but she snatched her arm away, hissing at her. "You watch your tongue, girl." Nate… Nate only used that tone when he was seriously pissed. Those siphons flickered.

"And what are you going to do about it? Hm? Hit me? Smack me around a little? Go on, I dare you." He did not move or raised a hand; he knew very well if he did strike my sister I'd kill him.

"Come on! Hit me-"

"ENOUGH!" I screamed, tears brimming my eyes as I honestly felt like exploding. Azariah whirled to me, her eyes blazing. "And what are you going to do, huh? You don't fucking do anything for us, so why should I listen to you?"

"What are you saying?" I snapped. "I've kept you and Devyn alive during the War. I spent most of my money that I saved up to keep you happy. What more do you want?"

"What I want? I want someone to actually give a shit, to be concerned for my wellbeing." Azariah spat maliciously, her hands balled up. "So all those years of me breaking my legs to keep you alive wasn't enough? Azariah I do give a shit! I do care! I care so damn much that I put you two first! I always have!" I cried, tears running down my cheeks.

Nate place his hand on my shoulder, I only shrugged him off. "You will never understand the hell I had to go through. Never." I said all to quietly, wrath leaking from me, my body shaking now. "Alright. Stop. No more." Nate made a gesture for Azariah to go and she did, throwing her napkin on the table as she stormed off.

Devyn grabbed his walking stick and hobbled after her, Aida following him. I sunk back into my chair, hunching over as I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. That delicate wall I had built over the years, cracked at the edges. But not enough to shatter it completely.

Nishka and Rahuel had left, leaving us alone, Vhen and Ereus simply disappearing in misty darkness. I felt Nate tug me into his lap and so I moved, wrapping my arms around his neck as I buried my face into him. "Shh, Silvy… Shh…" He gently soothed me, stroking my hair. "Come, let's go to your room, okay?" I gave a slight nod as he swept me up in his arms, being extra careful with my wings. I kept my head tucked into his neck, the tears had stopped coming and now nothingness settled in my gut.

Absolutely nothing.

Azariah always started this, always blaming me for the shitty life she and Devyn had to endure. No matter what I did, it never satisfied her. I didn't know if admitting to it would help it. I guessed not.

The rest of the day I spent in my room, the gardens or the waiting room that was more like a mini library. Nate had tended to me, and then went off to do some business in the city before coming back to me.

I did not attend dinner that night; I stayed in my room in bed with Nate cuddling me. He tried to cheer me up, but it didn't work. My day had started horrible and would end horribly.

Another fitful and horror filled night wracked my tired mind.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke feeling like shit. That was how I could describe it; the horrors of my night tore through my throat making it raw. As much as Nate tried to comfort me during my fitful sleep, it had not worked. It never did.

I groggily dressed in a simple garment of wool, a lilac colour with tight fitting sleeves. To me, the colour looked bland against my pale skin. I applied some makeup, wanting to hide the prominent circles and the hollowness of my cheeks. "You look nice today." I heard Nate muse as he lounged on the couch, eyeing me. I didn't believe those words, even if he did mean them.

Leaving my hair out I wandered over to him and sat in his lap, his arm encompassing my body. "I love you." He murmured as he kissed me softly, his hand moving up to cup my cheek. "I love you too." I replied as I pressed my forehead against his, my fingers tangling in the softness of his hair. "I'm sorry that I kept you up last night." I said, biting his bottom lip a little as his hand lazily moved up my leg under my skirt. "That's okay, Silvy. I'm sorry if I couldn't help you, it's so hard, you know?"

My breath hitched in my throat as I felt those devilish fingers circle around my core, I opened my legs a little to let more movement. "You shouldn't have gotten dressed, Silvy." His lips found my neck as I was laid back on the couch, his hand pressed against my undergarment, a satisfied growl made my skin crawl as he positioned himself between my legs. His free hand began to undo the lace on my bodice but I stopped him, "No, just touch me… Please." I whispered, he nodded as he went back to kissing my neck.

Maybe, maybe this release could ease the tension in my chest… To unwind it. I breathed harder as his fingers moved beneath my undergarment. His body tensed up as he dipped his fingers in me, I let out a long moan as he went right to his knuckles. "Silvy." His heavy voice turned me on so much, and I bucked my hips into his hand. 'More.' I mentally pleaded as his fingers began to move in and out, in time with my rocking hips. His thumb rubbed my aching nub, sending my body into a high and a released followed after it.

"That was very quick." He smirked as he moved down my body, holding my gaze. "You are quite needy this morning." He wiggled the two fingers in me and I let out a whine. He slowly turned his hand around, his fingers brushing against the walls; my breathing was laboured as I gripped the armrest of the couch, my nails digging into the fabric. "Please… Please…" I shuddered as he kissed the inside of my thigh, slowly, agonisingly slowly, moving down. "Please, what?" He tantalised, the tickle of his hot breath on my sex almost made me lose it.

"Please… I want your mouth… I want it on me." I squirmed as I softly cried out his name as he flexes his fingers. "Nate! Gods!" He chuckled as he lowered his head down, and when his tongue started to stroke my folds… It pulled me into a trance where I was nothing but a mess of flushed cheeks and moans of desire.

He worked on me so easily, so quickly, I didn't count a number of times I had climaxed. I looked down at him; his eyes were transfixed on my face, a hungry look in his eyes. I broke under his intense gaze as I arched my back, gripping his hair and holding him down on me as I cried out his name.

He stayed buried between my legs, waiting until my body finally released. Only then he pulled back, his fingers slipping out easily. I grabbed his wrist before he licked them; fervour was clearly expressed on his face as I sucked on his two fingers. "I love it when you do that, Silvy." He cupped my face as he kissed me roughly, pushing my lips apart with his tongue and dominated my own. I moaned lightly as I felt him ground against me, the hard bulge in his pants pressing on me.

But honestly, after what we just did… It still hadn't fully unwound me. I pushed him back gently by the shoulders and he braced both hands on either side of my head. "What's wrong?" He asked, frowning. "I-I don't want to do this… I can't." I stuttered, just the thought of it made me clamp up.

"Why not?" He became instantly annoyed, like always whenever I refused him. "I'm not going to hurt you." He added, leaning back down to kiss my neck. I stifled a moan but shoved him back again. "I said no. I don't feel ready yet." I grounded wiggling out from underneath him.

He held my hips in a strong grip and I froze. "Not ready? Since when does a girl say that?" There was a dark edge to his voice; worry began to rise in me. He took my chin so he could look at me, his thumb running over my lips. "I really want you, Viviana. I really do… I don't think I can handle this foreplay any longer…" I gulped as he pulled the strings from my bodice.

I didn't stop him.

He tugged down the neckline of my gown to expose my breasts; both his hands groped them and massaged them. I couldn't help but moan as my peaked nipples rubbed against his palms. "See, Viviana… You like this." His face had twisted into something I had not noticed before, a deep hunger that made my blood run cold.

Yet, I could not find the strength to fight him off. So I let him touch me, kiss my breasts. He started to unbuckle his pants, a groan vibrated off his lips as the pressure from the bulge was eased.

I only stared at the ceiling, hoping that this would go away-

The door slammed open, shaking the little items I had on various surfaces. Nishka strolled in, wearing simple pants and an oversized jumper with little sparkling sequins stitched in the woollen fabric. She stood just past the threshold, hands on hips and glaring at us. "Breakfast will go cold if you two do not come down." She grumbled, not fazed at the sight of me being semi-naked and Nate with his cock out. "We are in the middle of something." Nate snapped, giving her a death glare.

"Cool, lovely, wonderful. It can wait, hurry up." She turned on her heel and left the room without closing the door. I took that time to wiggle out from underneath him; he looked at me as if I had struck him. "One more time you do this, Nate. I will not hesitate to kick you in the balls." I hastily fixed myself, tying up the strings and fixing my hair.

"Uh huh. Sure you will. The next time we do this you won't be able to do it, you'll be writhing underneath me from the pleasure." I held his gaze, keeping my face neutral but hard. But internally? I was screaming.

I turned on my heel and left my room, not caring whether he came down to breakfast or not.

I preferred he didn't.

* * *

Breakfast had turned out awkward, especially what had happened yesterday with Azariah's outburst. She sat at the very end of the table, her eyes down and ignoring everyone. Devyn was the only one really greeting the others.

"You look a little bit shaken up." Rahuel pulled me out from my daze; I had been just pushing my food around my plate. "Sorry?" I looked at him, "Ah, just had a restless night. Nothing more." I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Like always." Azariah coldly snickered down the table. I was in no mood to snap back at her, so I ignored her. "More nightmares?" Rahuel asked softly. I gave a small nod as I started to force myself to eat. The food tasted bland in my mouth. "Have you tried any tonics or anything?" Another shake of my head.

"I'll look around then, there must be something out there to help you sleep." Rahuel took a sip at his goblet. "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine." I didn't need it, I didn't want it. It wasn't going to help anyways.

"But-" I slammed my hand on the table, startling Nishka and Aida from their conversation. "No. I don't want it." Shadows licked my arms and my shoulders, always appearing when I was pushed. Rahuel nodded a little, sitting back in his chair without further questions.

'Good.' I thought as I went back to eating. I savoured the silence at the table, save for the fire that crackled at the far end of the room. Sunlight came through the high glass windows that lined the wall in front of me; it overlooked the front garden of the estate and the waking city of Velaris. In the distance, I could see the ocean glittering beneath the rising sun.

"Today seems like a nice day to fly, don't you think Silvy?" Nate's voice got me worked up a little and I sat up quickly, he settled beside me and kissed my cheek. "I guess, yeah? Want to fly later?" I asked, giving him a bright smile. "No, you ain't flying later. We are going to go out tonight, a new place has opened up near the cliffs and tonight is their opening night." Nishka said, again sneering at Nate who looked miffed.

"I want to spend some time with Silvy, I just got back from the camps after three months of being gone. At least give us tonight to fly." Nate lightly demanded, his hand covering my own. "Oh, hooray for you. But she has not been out during that time, she stayed cooped up in the house. You have no right to speak for her, Viviana?" All eyes on me and I wanted to just slip under the table and hide.

I pursed my lips as I looked at my best friend and my lover. "You don't like big crowds, remember? You have a panic attack when you are stuffed in a room. With me, we can be free in the sky." He smiled so lovingly; it always worked for me to submit to him. But something else told me to join my friends at the club, so I found myself saying, "I'm going with Nishka, you can come if you want if you are so concerned." I almost missed that deadly flash in his eyes, a small part of me regretted my decision but the other half felt a little rebellious.

"Alright, I'll go with you. But don't blame me if you do end up having a fit." Nishka beamed and clapped her hands. "Great! Tonight will be so fun!" Just then, Vhen and Ereus appeared in their seats, shadows curling off them as they became solid. The twins looked around, their cat-like eyes glinting, "Morning." They both said in sync. "What is this excitement I feel?" Vhen asked with a smug smile. "Tonight we are going out, all of us." Nishka nodded excitedly.

"To the new place?" Ereus picked up. "Mhmm." Nishka replied with a mouth full of food. "Count me and Devyn out." Azariah grimaced a disgusted look on her face. "I wasn't even asking you anyways." Nishka bit at her. Azariah opened her mouth to retort but closed it as a cool air filled the room.

The silverware became covered with frost, just as Raella walked in. She was a bit taller than an average twenty-year-old; she had a beautiful love heart shape face, her skin pale almost white. Her eyes were like frost as well as her hair, which was literally like icicles. She looked very tired and unhappy.

"Another night of partying?" Vhen chided, his lips upturned into a disgusted frown. "Shut it. Shut up all of you." She scolded at us, plopping herself down in front of him. Vhen made a face at her and they began to bicker instantly. 'What a bothersome pair.' I sighed silently as I cleaned my mouth and stood. "Anyways, I need to head off. Brea needs my help with the shop, I'll see you later today." Rahuel gave me a gentle smile, but his eyes told me another thing.

Coming to the foyer, my maid was waiting with my heavy overcoat. The young woman, who was in her early twenties and had sea green scales that covered her entire body, her hair was like seagrass and had shells stuck to it. She helped me with the coat before doing the buttons up near my wings.

I gave thanks to her as I slipped on my gloves and left the house, heading down the stairs and to the main road. The estate was positioned high up on a hill in a quieter area, as per requested by me. I admired the colourful city, my Fae hearing picked up the many voices that floated up from the four squares, or Palaces as they were called, that made Velaris famous.

We had to head to the southern side of the Sidra River, where the Rainbow of Velaris was and where my shop I shared with Brea was at. Though I took my time walking, my arm locked around Nate's.

"Why do you want to go?" He asked as we stopped at the edge of the River. "Hm?" I looked over at him, getting lost at something I spotted across from me. "Why do you want to go to a place where drunkards dwell?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Why not? Something different, no? Besides, the time you were gone…" I didn't wish to think about that time, I had been alone and upset at his departure. "Nishka wants me to go, she will hassle me to the ends of the earth. So if I go tonight, she'll stop bothering me." I moved to him and took his hands, lacing my fingers in his before I held them up before us.

"But she knows you cannot handle a big crowd, you shouldn't let her boss you into it." He pulled me gently into his arms; I rested my hands on his chest. "Oh well, at least you will be there." Moving my hands up to cup the back of his neck I pulled him down so I could kiss him. I was straight away pressed against his body; our kiss was heated and deep as his wing came around a little to shield us from prying eyes.

"There is an Inn not too far from here if you two need it." A silky voice caused me to jumped back from Nate. There, stood the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court. They had saved me from a horrible fate and gave me a new life here. Feyre glowered and pinched Rhys' arm, and tsked at him. "Rhys, don't be like that." Feyre huffed and he only grinned. "What? I'm only giving them a place of privacy." He kissed her temple softly, making her blush slightly.

Nate grasped his outstretched arm and shook it, while I hugged Feyre. She wore a silk and wool gown of Deep Ocean blue. Lace covered her chest up to her throat. Whenever she moved, the gown shimmered a little. "Hello." I said smiling widely. "How are you?" I asked her as we all began to walk, Nate and Rhys behind us chatting about the Illyrian camps.

"I've been fine, thank you. I've been preparing a party." She held out an invitation to me. "Oh! Yes, the winter solstice is coming up, that's right." I took the piece of folded paper, it smelt like citruses. "Vhen had mentioned it to us yesterday." I added.

"What? I told him not to say anything." She shook her head, her golden brown hair shiny in the sunlight. "You know him, he can never hold his tongue." She laughed lightly, "True. Though, I have to admit, I didn't want a party. Not a big one like Mor had planned out." She bit her bottom lip, looking ahead. "She talk you into this?" I asked as we turned into a cafe, I had time to grab a quick drink.

"Mhmm, she pestered me all month until I gave in. Rhys even joined in." She gave a disapproving shake of her head as Rhys sneered. We sat outside in the sunlight; Nate helped me with my coat before he took his seat. Though the small chairs were not built for our wings, so we both moved uncomfortably. Rhys was getting smacked around, Feyre laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh dear," I placed a hand over my mouth as I laughed lightly, the two males arguing. They only stopped as a Fae woman, who had nothing but ivy leaves covering her personal parts, came over and took our orders. Once she left to prepare them, Feyre turned to me. "I didn't ask how you have been. It's been a large gap since the last I saw you. You look… different now."

"I do? I guess a year of not seeing each other can make a difference." I pinched the tips of my fingers a little nervously. During the year we had seen each other briefly, at parties but we never sat down and talked like now. She cocked her head to the side a little, as if she was assessing me. A slight frown creased her face, "I doubt so. You've changed quite a bit, physically mostly." Feyre was a good observer, more than good and it made my skin crawl. "Matured, then. I have grown a little in size." I looked at my chest then at her. Being just a little over fifty years old, it was very young for Fae kind.

But it didn't convince her; she stared at me as if she was seeing right into my soul. And I felt her in the folds of my complex thoughts and shoved her out. She jolted in her seat as I glared at her, fuming. "Don't do that." I said in a shaky tone, the boys had fallen quiet and Rhys looked alarmed. "Your walls are down," she said softly, her expression gentle. "If you need help, Viviana, you can-"

"I don't!" I said all too loudly, some people glancing at us and I instantly shied down. "I… I don't need help. I'm fine." I repeated in a small voice, my head bowed. My shadows rose from underneath the table, slipping between my fingers and up my arms a little. Feyre reached out to place her hand over mine, I wanted to move it away but instead I slowly calmed down. The shadows melting into the fabric, I knew it was Feyre's doing.

She removed her hand and I managed to look up at her. "Viviana, why haven't you said anything? You've been suffering the past few years with this… I could help you. Especially Azriel, he can teach you how to master your shadows." I stayed silent as our orders came, taking my tea, drinking it and setting it back down before I replied, "I know that but I don't want it. I have no use for it." I bristled, pushing that calming hand she had on my mind, out.

"That's understandable but if you keep leaving it, untamed and free… It can become independent and take over you. You are no ordinary Shadowsinger, Viviana. There is something more wild in your blood, and it's affecting your abilities." I looked over at Nate, he was unreadable but I knew he had brought their attention to me even if I said I didn't want them to be involved.

"Don't blame him," Rhys had noticed the anger in my eyes, "He's only doing this because he cares for you." Nate nodded in agreement. Those masks dropped and worry now existed. "You had almost knocked me out cold yesterday. And you didn't… look yourself."

"You might need siphons to keep it contained." Rhys noted. "But that's gifted only to Illyrian males." I said staring at my hands, trying to visualise the stones atop them. "Not in my case, in the recent centuries, I have found a small amount of women who are in need of the siphons. You are part of that; you might very well need more than two. Maybe as many as Azriel and Cassian." The two most powerful Illyrians to ever live, they both had several of the stones.

I became a little weary at the thought of having siphons, and the idea I was in level with the spymaster and the commander… it thrilled me. "You should be," Rhys started to smile, I quickly yanked up those walls and he laughed. "Just like Feyre when she figured out how to block me. Quick but to late." I puffed out my cheeks, but he continued on, "You should be honoured to have such power, Viviana. Think of what you can do. Not only you could defend and fight, but also you can become an inspiration to other women. I still struggle now to get the other camps to train the girls."

'Become an inspiration… Is that possible?' I thought with awe. "I won't push you on this, but, I would recommend you to consider it at least." Rhys did not push me on anything, nor did Feyre. They knew what I had gone through, they did not pity me but empathise and that's what drew me to them. Yet I always felt like I took advantage of that and kept to myself most of the time, which was why I had not wanted them to be involved.

"Okay. I can do that." I said, feeling jittery with glee. "Good, you know where to go, the doors will always be open." Rhys mused before he stood. I followed suit as we milled out in front of the cafe. "Well, I hope you have a good day. I'll see you at Feyre's birthday party." A low groan came from her as Rhys swept her in his arms, his wings appearing. When he looked at her, my heart clenched at the sight, oh how full of adoration and love lit the High Lords face.

Nate placed an arm around my shoulder and tugged me close, I loosely placed an arm around his hip. In two beats, Rhys took off with his mate, the wind causing my dress to flutter around me. I watched, as they became a speck in the cloudless sky, slowly moving back to the mountain peak where the House of Wind stood proudly.

"I thought that would've gone worse." Nate seemed a bit disappointed but I didn't mull over it long, I was cross that he had gone behind my back, and got them to convince me, "I don't remember asking you to call them." I shrugged off his arm and faced him, crossing my arms over my chest. "No you did not. But, you kicked my ass. No one has ever done so. Not even the Lords at the camp have brought me to near unconsciousness. You did with a simple shove of your hand." He held my stubborn gaze, matching it.

"That was because I used magic." He gestured wildly at me, "You just proved your point!' I rolled my eyes and let my arms hang by my sides. "Viviana… Just, think about it. That's all I'm asking." Staring up at the mountain that loomed over Velaris, I thought over Rhys' words. "I'll think about it. Now, I need to go. Brea is going to murder me." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply, I returned it by wrapping my arms around his neck.

"See you tonight I guess." I peppered his lips with soft kisses before I pulled away, I waved at him as he took off into the sky to go and do some private business. I hurried down the River, taking shortcuts and finally reaching the Rainbow. An abundance of Fae milled about, some clothed some not. Many had an assortment of horns, fur, scales, some tall or short or a bit of both so to speak.

This was why I had fallen in love with Velaris. No one ever looked at me like I was some freak. I knew all Fae could smell the difference that radiated off me… But, no one at all minded my presence. A few Fae that I walked by grinned and greeted me with a joyful 'morning' or a wave. Some even went as far as hugging me, smothering me in fur.

I politely said goodbye before I reached the small art shop, Brea's and Vivie's Wonders written in pretty writing above it. The paned window that jutted out a little had brushes and small artworks displayed, as well as my little carvings. I stepped up three small stairs before pushing open the floral painted door, bells ringing as i entered the shop.

The walls were lined with her art pieces and my own, tables neatly decorated with art supplies. Everything had an air of perfection with a bit of chaos. Behind the counter, sat Brea. She had come from the Autumn Court, her parents had… Left her as a baby in the forest, because of a deformity; she was blind. A Fae that lived in the Autumn Court had raised her and taught her how to move and defend herself. She remembers very well, and never forgets anything you tell her.

"You're late." She huffed, not looking up from whatever she was doing behind the counter. "I know, I'm sorry. I ran into Rhys and Feyre." I replied as I came to her. She was sorting out new brushes. Brea had her brown hair up in a bun, the red streaks stood out in this type of style. Her amber eyes stood out against her honey coloured skin as well as her many freckles that dusted her rosy cheeks.

"How was that?" She asked as I sat down next to her, helping her with the sorting. "Went okay. We are invited to Feyre's party though." I said. "So I've heard. I guess we should go shopping soon, then." She replied softly, her movement never faltering. "I guess so. But I was just going to use one of my own gowns, just dress it up a little." A sigh came from her, before she shook her head. "Like always. You should get Nate to buy you something. At least a new piece of jewellery. I overheard at the docks that a new shipment of opals had come in, some in the most vivid colours."

"Eh," I shrugged a little, "I don't really want him to spend money on something I won't ever use again." Having riches didn't really appeal to me, as much as I loved sparkly items… It just seemed tedious and not worth it. "And? So what? In the future you may need it again. Velaris offers so much beautiful things, stuff you won't encounter at other Courts." Brea had stopped her sorting to look at me, "But if you don't want Nate to spend his money, then why don't you spend it on yourself? I pay you enough, don't I?" I nodded. "Then? What do you do with the money?"

"I give it to Azariah and pay the treatment for Devyn's legs." I replied, still sorting the brushes. "Okay, I understand. I don't want to seem rude or anything but you should get Azariah to find a job at least. She is old enough to be somewhat independent of herself." Brea was right but spending most of my lifetime caring for them… it became a habit for me to just keep them safe and well. "Even so, don't you save anything? A few coins?" This time I stopped, turning the brush in my hand.

"I don't have anything at all, I use it all on my siblings." Which was why Azariah's wardrobe was full of the most expensive gowns and jewellery. "Viviana…" Brea trailed off, concern laced her tone. "Can we not talk about this? I just want to finish this off." There goes the small happiness I had.

"Okay." She simply said. I had intended to tell her what I found out but I didn't feel it, another day, so it seems.

* * *

"I knew my clothes would fit you," Nishka grinned as she turned me around so I could look at myself in the body length mirror. The high waist skirt was stunning; it was of metallic blue and looked like it captured the night sky. Two slits ran on either side, exposing my legs. With it, was a black top that came off my shoulder, revealing the freckles I had on my shoulders. It came to my wrists and showed off a lot of my midriff. The only thing I did not like was how prominent my collarbones had come to be.

I wore a crystal ear cuff on both my ears. I had a half up half down hairstyle, same crystals held up my hair. Light kohl was added and some foundation to hide the paleness of my face. "Are you sure you have nothing else to hide this?" I pinched my stomach, grimacing at the amount of skin I grabbed. Nishka batted my hand away, "Nope. You look fine, like a Goddess." She hugged me tightly.

"Says you." I looked her up and down. She wore a single long piece of light purple chiffon that went around her neck and just covered her breasts before crisscrossing behind her. She wore low waist pants made of the same material but puffed out at her ankles. Her hair was pulled back and sat high on her head; only two curls framed the side of her face that had some sparkly material woven in. She also added some glitter underneath her eyes.

She snorted as she shoved some flats in my hands and I slipped them on. "Yeah, yeah. You are the one with the glittery wings." Once my shoes were on she took my arm and dragged me out of my room. "You will make jaw drops."

Quite literally as we came to the foyer. The boys, especially Nate, were all taken aback at my entrance. Nate wore black pants and a tunic that was earthy brown; the edgings were of gold material. Whenever he moved, there was an illusion on the material, making little swirling shapes. He had left it undone at the top, to expose that tanned and inked chest of his.

"By the Cauldron." He whispered as I came right to him, I grinned. "How did you get convinced to wear this?" He slipped an arm around me, his fingers tickled my sides. "I kind of put a blindfold on her…" Nishka feigned innocent, placing her fingers just under her bottom lip and shifting on either foot.

"I like it, looks good on you." 'Yes, because it shows the parts you want to put your mouth on.' I thought peeved. Looking at the others, the boys had dressed similarly; Rahuel was in a light blue tunic with silver embellishments depicting shells. A belt made entirely of pearls sat at his waist. While Vhen and Ereus wore what I had seen them in yesterday. 'Lazy.' I thought.

"Splendid." Vhen and Ereus nodded, giving me snarky grins. "I'd say dazzling actually." Rahuel gave me one of his kind smiles. I rolled my eyes at everyone, "Don't be so sentimental."

"It's true, Viv." Raella came down the stairs behind us. She had chosen an extremely revealing piece. Two strips of deep red silk came down from her neck and covered just her breasts and her lower regions with a metal belt with a single ruby in the middle. It was the only thing that kept the material from flying everywhere.

"Okay." I didn't believe them. "Enough chatting, our carriages are waiting." Nishka clapped and herded us out. Brea had come down as well; she took my arm pulling me aside.

"Be safe, okay?" She gave me a gentle hug; she never once had gone out and always stayed home. "I will don't worry." I patted her back as she let go. "Just, take extra care. And don't be shy if someone asks you to dance."

"Good luck to them, they have to go through Nate if they want to get near me." I pressed my lips together, perturb at what Nate would do if another male came near me. "Why did you even invite him?" She asked lowly, she always had her suspicions of Nate. I wondered how much she knew about him. "I don't know, he wasn't pleased at the time so I thought if he came along it would ease him," I admitted that much.

"He won't let you out of his sight, you know that, right?" I nodded; he'd be the baby to my hip tonight. "If he gets a bit handsy, I'll tell him." I hugged her again, she didn't seem too happy at the idea but ushered me out.

"Have fun." She called as I got into the front carriage; the boys had gotten in the second one. Finally, the carriage took off.

* * *

I didn't expect the building to be literally hanging off the edge, as the name stated, 'On Edge'. It was a three levelled building and was massive. Balconies surrounded the whole building, with the top one that hung off the side quite far. I could see High Fae and other Fae kind milling about and dancing to the thundering music. It was a bit of a walk up the steep hill, faelights along the winding pathway. Many wore garments and many choose to be just in their own skin. Nate was eyeing some so I punched him in the shoulder, I gave him a pointed look and he muttered something under his breath.

Standing atop the stairs was Aida; she had gone ahead to secure us a booth in the top level. Aida wore tight fitting pants made of bright red leather and a single band of material across her chest. Unlike us girls with our hair out, she pulled hers into a very tight bun, not a single strand left out.

Quick greetings she said, "Come, come, we need claim our place." We followed her in, and I instantly wanted out once I entered. 'So many bodies.' I thought as we trudged through, the dance floor was packed. I doubt anyone in the middle could've escaped that prison.

Nate had held my arm to steady me, "Tell me and we can leave." He said closely to my ear, I shook my head as we weaved through the pillars that held the mezzanine above. There was a large chandelier that hung lowly above the dancing people, the faelights were all sorts of colours, and casting splashes of it across the room. The two top levels were open in the middle so you could peer down at the main floor.

The third level was a bit more tamed, people still danced but it wasn't tightly packed in. Low tables and chairs were strewn about, filled with Fae sitting in laps and laughing.

The lighting was dulled to almost darkness, but the glowing faelights emitted off a golden hue. My sight kicked in and I was able to distinguish each face. I let my eyes slide over to the other side and I had come to a dead stop. A male, no more than in his mid-twenties. I could tell he was High Fae for the exquisite clothing he wore. The long sleeved tunic was the colour of rain clouds, and the metallic look was of the ivory stitching that covered it all. The gold belt sat at his waist, there was little stones pressed into it.

The male had paused, his drink held to his lips as he stared right back at me. Our gazes met and a sudden… What? I could not describe what it was but something had set in place in my soul. Like a missing piece had emerged from staring at him and made its home. And that small thing felt like embers waiting to be brought alive, a mental touch of it seemed to make it grow.

Someone touched my shoulder and I jumped out of the trance and looked at Nate, he fumed. "Don't do that again." He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the booth my friends sat. I was still in a bit of a daze and looked back where I saw the stranger, he wasn't there.

I craned my neck but I couldn't catch a glimpse of him, too many people had obscured my view. I still kept peering around, trying to be subtle about it as I was yanked down in Nate's lap.

"Viviana, what are you looking at?" Nate touched my chin and turned my attention to him. "Oh, nothing." I smiled tightly but kissed him softly so he couldn't question me further. His shoulders relaxed as his arms moved around my waist, tugging me closer.

"Ugh! Stop it you two! I came here to dance, not watch you two make out." Nishka rolled her eyes as she wiggled her way out of the booth, Rahuel who was sitting beside her watched. She took another swig of her drink and held out her hand to me, "Come on." Tipsy Fae stumbled behind her and I tightened my arms around Nate's neck, shaking my head quickly.

"I uh, might skip it… If that's okay." Nishka shrugged and looked at Aida who began to stand, "Your loss." Nishka hooked her arm around Aida's before they skipped away, knowing Rahuel he would go and watch over them. And he did, he stood and left the booth without a word.

It left Nate and myself, Vhen, Ereus and Raella had already mingled. "So much for having fun." Nate murmured next to my ear, pressing his lips to my neck as his hands once again slithered up my bare legs. I shuddered a little, tilting my head to the side so he could have more space to work. "Why don't we escape somewhere private? Does the idea of my head between your legs turn you on?"

'Sex, sex, sex. That's all he thinks about.' I grabbed his hand and stopped it before it could reach any higher. "Why don't we enjoy the night without having to kiss and lick each other?" Nate raised his eyebrows, sitting back. His finger gently caressed my lower back, making me sit up straighter. "Hm? Someone's a little on edge tonight." his hand found its spot again high up on my thigh, I moved to make myself comfy on his lap.

"Can we go at least a day without doing that? I just… I just want to be held by you…" There was a flash of animosity in his eyes but it went away just as quick as it came. He grinned lopsidedly and removed his hand from my thigh, "Of course, Silvy. Anything you wish." I settled down in his arms, resting my head on his shoulder.

I didn't know how long we were like that for but he shifted and I sat up. "Want me to get you a drink?" He asked. I did feel a little dehydrated, as it was quite stuffy in here. "Okay, anything sweet." I said as I got off his lap. "You're sweet enough." He kissed my cheek and I blushed lightly at his comment. 'He never usually compliments me like that.' I thought as my heart gave a small leap.

He was swallowed up instantly in the crowd and I snuggled back into the booth, I let my shadows emerge and listened to the many conversations around me. Most were boring, bland topics, some were incoherent and lewd voices so I backed out immediately. I made a face as I fiddled with the silky material that made my skirt; I started to have regrets coming here. What in Mothers name made me wish to come to such a… compact place? The more I looked around, the jittery I became. Especially when I saw a few eyes on me, sensing the fervour spill from the Fae males.

I needed out. Right now. My heart was beating too fast and I- Three men stepped in the way, so I was trapped in the booth. I collapsed backwards, trying to press myself as hard as I could into the booth. "What an exquisite thing, hm?" They were no older than twenty-five, the left one that spoke had light chestnut hair cut short to the nape of his neck and his eyes were a light brown, streaks of amber from the pupil. The middle one, who smirked as if he was eyeing a feast, had eyes of metal grey that matched the ever-shifting hair that grew to his shoulders. Little horns that curved upwards protruded from his temples. There was also a long scaled tail flicked with eagerness behind him, barbed with some kind of liquid that was leaking from it.

"Aye, she's so… delectable. I'd love to taste her, I can smell how delicious she is." The last one, a shiver ran down my spine when I saw those eyes. Black, endless, pits with a single white slit that acted like a pupil of some sort. His skin was greyish blue as if he was in the water for too long. His hands were webbed and clawed, I could see the veins in the thin skin between each finger, and it was green almost.

"May we sit down?" The first mused, but they started to slide in before I could even answer. I started to freak out, my shadows coiling around my arms creating a layer of what looked like overlapping scales.

I recognised what the armour was, and something in me snapped and it overtook my body. It felt like the other morning when I woke from my nightmare, but this time… I did not know what was different. It seemed I had a grip on it. I was suddenly moving forward and did a front flip over the table before those hands could reach me then I was on my feet and spun to face the three Fae males.

They were… They were entangled by my shadows, their arms pinned to their sides and it looked like I was choking them. They stared at me with utter fear; even the nearby Fae seemed to back up away from me. Power surged through my veins, fuelling that fear that had filled me. My arms had now become encased in the scale armour, just like the spymaster and the commander usually wore.

Shadows pooled at my feet, connected to the ones around the men. 'Kill.' That one command in my head, a voice to far to understand or know its gender. 'Kill the monsters,' it crooned. I was totally unaware of my hand rising, the shadows moving up as well in time. 'That's it. Almost-'

It was all gone in a matter of seconds; the shadows seemed to run away. The men sat there fear struck before the stumbled out of the booth and were gone. I felt the cool, strong hands on my bare shoulders. I turned to see who it was, to see those hands and saw that horrible scarring. A deep, cobalt siphon sat atop his palm and was glowing a little.

Slowly, the spymaster turned me around and I met those lovely hazel eyes, calm but held lethalness to them. His face was shadowed in the dimness, "Come." His single command, I couldn't tell whether he was mad or not. So I followed him to the balcony that leant over the cliff. It was all open above but it was still very warm. 'What magic can do…' I thought as Azriel found a quiet corner, people seemed to move away.

He turned to me; I could see shadows rippling off that leather and scale armour. Though he looked harmless, without all the belts strapped to him and the weapons. But I knew that he did not need weapons, those siphons were the weapons.

"What was that?" He asked me bluntly, his face, so elegant and beautifully crafted, unreadable. "What was what? What just happened there? That… That I do not know." It was an honest reply, I had no idea what the hell I did but it felt satisfying.

'Satisfaction of someone dying by your hand.' I set my jaw tightly, memories wanting to rise up but I shoved them as hard as I could. 'No, not now.' I thought as Azriel continued to assess me like I was something stuck up on a podium. A small flame of anger in those glowing embers started. "Yet, you did it anyways." He said, his eyes ever so flicking to behind me then rested on me again.

"I guess it was just the panic I felt, I had nowhere else to go. I was literally trapped between those men…" I cupped my hand in front of me. Azriel placed a hand on my shoulder, a gentle squeeze as if he somewhat understood my situation. "You almost did a good job. If I had not come… Those men would be dead." He released my shoulder.

"Have you considered Rhys' recommendation?" He asked, there was a slight keenness to his tone. Just like Rhys was, both of them wanted me to train. But, again, my choice, Rhys said he would not push me. "I have, but I still need a few more days to consider it. It's just… A bit, how can I say… Big news, I guess. I want to have the right mindset before I jump into this." Azriel nodded, his black hair being lifted by the phantom wind. "Of course, just be careful." A slight tug at the corner of his lips before he walked past me, standing off to the side of the threshold inside the building was Morrigan. She looked at Azriel with such adoration as he pulled her close.

His smile was tender when he gazed at her, so longingly… I looked away, feeling like I was intruding on something intimate. Jealousy welled up in me, but I pushed it back as I stalked back inside. As I neared the booth, I realised it was now taken. I paused then looked around.

I was alone. I couldn't see Nate, or even know where he had gone off. I went over to the balustrade and peered down, maybe if I could spot my friends from up here… I did, I saw Nishka and Aida dancing. Though, they were somewhat packed between people near the edge. With what had happened I needed to be near someone, and looking for Nate wasn't an option.

I worked up my cool to head down, my heart starting to beat harder as I walked down. I kept to the wall as I tried to dodge the drunk Faeries, trying to keep those many shaped and coloured hands away from me.

I kept to the wall once I reached the first level, being at the top didn't seem so bad but here… Cauldron, I was starting to panic at the amount of bodies so close to me. I was being jostled around as I weaved through, I felt drinks being spilt on my legs and arms but paid no attention. 'Just get to Nishka, then this will go away.' I thought as I decided to cut right through the dance floor.

Oh, how much did I regret doing that. It was too much, too many people, to close… My head felt like it was going to explode; the music became merely an echo to my ears. Everything started to slow down and close in around me, my chest was tight as all my senses became muddled and confused.

Hands. All over my body. Touching me. Feeling me. I wanted to run, but I couldn't. I was trapped like a bird in a cage, my wings were being tugged and a sharp pain shot down my back as a feather was plucked. I turned to see that same male with the black eyes, holding the glittering feather to his nose.

"Delicious." I heard him say, it was more in my head, as his stitched up lips did not move. I didn't even notice that beforehand. With his webbed hand, he gripped my arm, "I wish to punish you, but you are too sweet to harm. Maybe I should punish you in other ways…" He mused.

I tried to shake him off but it was like my body wasn't letting me. As if I was trapped in my own skin and unable to control my limbs. The faerie pulled me closer; the coldness from him was a mixture of this strange pleasure and bliss. But it felt wrong. I stared at him, the background and the people around us seemed to melt and merge into one. "Don't be afraid, little princess. At least I'll be better than he will ever be to you-" But the faerie did not finish his line for he looked mortified.

His eyes widened as if he saw something. Then I felt it, heat rippled down my arms and the embers became alive. The faerie cried out and exploded in black dust that coated my arms and my face.

Yet, with the fire on my arms, no one seemed to notice at all. No one glanced my way as the dancing continued. I felt like fainting, I started to fall but arms wrapped around me and pulled me back to my feet.

My arm was placed over his shoulders as he pulled me out of the hellhole. His arm was around my waist, holding me tightly to his body. The world tipped and turned as I was taken to somewhere I did not know where. Then I was seated down and a glass was placed in my hands before I was made to drink it.

I downed it as another glass of water was given to me and I finished it just as quick. The world around me seemed to settle and I was able to gather my thoughts and notice where I was.

I was still in the vicinity of the building; I could see it looming up high. Though high hedges lined the entire garden, and there were tables, chairs and couches placed here and there. Some had small fire pits in the middle. Above faelights were strung across the entire garden making a web-like look.

I was taken to the far back, nestled in an alcove of the hedges. There was also a firepit here, my legs warming up from it. "What happened back there?" I jumped back and turned to the voice that spoke to me. Eyes widening I stared at the male I had seen earlier in the night. The fire seemed to make his red hair look like, well, actual fire. It brought out the deep reds and oranges, it even made that tanned skin glow. The shadows that cast unevenly brought out the sharp angle features of his face. I almost didn't notice that scar that ran down from his brow to his jaw, as if someone had clawed him and yanked out his eye. Leaving a golden orb that moved with the remaining russet eye.

I didn't even know I was gawking at him when he started to smirk, "You seem okay, with that star struck expression I doubt I'm that bad looking." Ah, so he's that type of person. I shook my head to rid of the daze and that strange pull to him. I finally looked away, staring intensely at the flickering fire. "Are you okay, actually? You still look a bit pale." There was a kindness to his tone and I calmed my racing thoughts before I felt okay to look at him.

"I think so, yeah." I looked at my arms, but there was no dust on them. Nothing that traced back to the unknown faerie. "Viviana!" Nate's worried call made me stand quickly. I saw he was making his way right to me, and he did not look happy at all. But I still ran at him, flinging myself and hugging him tightly. His arms encompassed me; "I was looking for you everywhere. Azriel had found me and told me what had happened… Oh, I'm so sorry Silvy, I shouldn't have left you alone for that long." I looked up at him and smiled faintly. "That's okay, you're here now. That's all it matters." Nate kissed my forehead before he looked at the fiery haired male.

"What are you doing with her?" All emotion fell away from his tone as he stared down at the other High Fae. Tension spiked up, unease settled in my stomach as I looked between the two. "She was panicking on the dance floor, she was, how can I say it… Being grabbed by others. I saw she wasn't in the right state of mind and pulled her out of it before she could collapse." Swift and right to the point, but he had left out the encounter with the Fae that had taken its attention on me. Why?

"Okay, thank you. You can go now." There was deadliness to Nate's tone and the stranger stiffened up, his brows slightly coming together as a troubled look crossed his face. "Just doing my job." He looked at me, he… Looked very worried before he walked past. I watched his back, the braid that came to just mid-length of his back swayed as he disappeared among the Fae.

Then I gave Nate a pointed look. "Why must you be so aggressive?" I asked as he looked down at me, the hard look now softened. "I guess I'm just a bit protective that's all." He touched my cheek as I leant into it. "I want to go home," I said softly, I was tired and was sick of being here.

"The slow route or the quick route?" He asked, a smirk playing along his lips. "Quick, please. I want to bathe and sleep." He nodded once before he swept me into his arms, holding my wings tightly to my back as he jumped up, and those powerful Illyrian wings beating and taking us into the air. Fae cried out as the wind blew out the fires, some cursed at us.

He flew up high into the deep onyx sky; thousands of stars blinked and twinkled. And below… It was a sight to behold. Velaris had its own stars, the lights that lined the many streets like rivers of gold. The Palaces were lit up in explosions of colours, especially the Rainbow.

The City of Starlight.

It always took the breath out of me, and whenever I was like this, Nate deliberately flew longer, circling the city before he slowly descended down to the estate that sat atop the hill. A few Fae walked the streets but were not shaken by the landing of Nate. He did not set me down as he walked through the gates and into the house.

He took me to my room before he finally placed me on my feet. "I'll prepare your bath." He said, kissing my forehead again as he went into the adjoining bathroom. I stripped of the clothing, remembering to give it back to Nishka tomorrow. I took out my pins in my hair so it fell around my waist. I stretched my wings, glitter being thrown about as I groaned at the pleasurable feeling. I needed to fly soon, ease out the tightness in my back.

Naked, I walked into the bathroom, the steam that wafted from the sunken tub made me groan at the sight. It was huge, enough to fit wings. Especially Illyrian ones. Nate grinned at me, "Bath is ready." He was still dressed, I felt thankful as I was in no mood to play. Though his eyes looked me up and down, a slight worry at his lip as I walked past him, stepped up the one step and got right into the hot water. "Thank you," I said, sinking further down and sitting on the little seats that jutted out from the edge. "Anything for you." It seemed odd for Nate behaving like this, but I was somewhat pleased.

He left me alone, and I tended to myself. I spent at least an hour or so before I got out, dried myself and slipped into my floor length nightdress. These were much more comfortable than wearing the ones that came to knee length or less. Coming out, Nate had fallen asleep in the canopy bed; he even had started the fire while I was in the bath so the room was much toasty. He had pulled the curtains together and left my side open. I got under the covers and snuggled right against him, he mumbled something before he slung an arm over my body and held me there.

And for a first, no nightmares claimed me. It was like the waiting embers in me kept them at bay. Whatever it was, I sent a silent thank you to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up seemed to startle me. Why? I had no nightmares for a change. And I didn't expect to be greeted by cool darkness. I was sprawled across Nate, he was on his back and I doubt it was comfortable for him with his wings being pinned.

I lifted myself ever so slightly, letting my eyes adjusting to the gloom. It was not daytime yet, but early morning for the moonlight was peering through the crack of the curtains at the bay window. Nate mumbled something and was beginning to turn, so I moved off him so he could lay on his side. He looked really cute, slightly curled up with an arm tucked underneath his head. I smiled lightly as I got out of bed, feeling a little peckish.

I didn't eat last night or even had enough liquid in me. I slipped on my slippers and pulled on my dressing gown, which was made of light grey silk. I left my room quietly, closing the door slowly so it didn't click loudly. Faelights flickered on lowly, casting enough light so I could make my way down the hallway. It was quiet in the house; I couldn't even pick up the sleeping sounds of the other residents.

'Hm, strange.' Though my shadows emerged, wafting off me like smoke. But they did not speak at all. I didn't really mind, at this time of the night why would there be things whispered to me?

I headed down the stairs in the foyer, faelights continued to turn on as I made my way. As I came to the last step, I had scared Kiki, Nishka's cat, by stepping on her tail. The cat howled and literally made me jump as it darted off into the shadows. "Stupid thing." I gripped my chest, my heart thundering. Once I gathered myself I continued to head to the kitchen, which was shared amongst my friends.

It was on the west wing of the house, a giant room that opened to a shaded patio. There was a large hearth with pots hanging above the grey coals. Benches filled with phials and small tubs holding exotic spices and herbs.

The island in the middle had two baskets full of fruits and a few books laid open. Though I did not want fruits, I needed a full meal so I raided the pantry, pulling out bread, cheese, biscuits, whatever seemed to entice my growling stomach. I ended up cutting up apples having devoured the foods I pulled out.

Still, it was not enough. I searched through the cooler and found some soup from two nights back. I decided to heat it up, so I quickly started the fire in the hearth and waited for the soup to boil. I sat down on the stool, rubbing my shoulder a little bit. I could still remember the sharp pain of my feather being yanked out of my wing; I brought it around to check it. The faerie had taken one of the primary feathers, I could see slight blood. My wings were very sensitive, just like an Illyrian, a slight brush or touch can easily make me shudder. Even now, stroking the silky ends made me move uncomfortably.

Letting go of my wing, I sighed. This week was crazy, even more so than any other week during the year. I knew why, in less than two weeks… I didn't want to think about it for now. Not yet, I'd get the time to mourn then. The soup began to bubble and I took it off the low fire, then poured it into a bowl and used my magic to cool it down a little before I ate it.

That finally satisfied my stomach as I cleaned up. Wiping my hands, something had fallen and shattered down the hall. The sudden sound caused my heart to pound faster, "The hell?" I whispered as I made my way to the sound. There was a large room where we lounged on, couches were strewn about, and the walls were made out of entirely of bookshelves holding many novels of all sorts of genres and topics. Again, one wall was made up of glass doors that opened to a patio. We preferred the natural light and the scenery of the lush gardens.

Moonlight cast odd shadows; faelights remained off as I searched the room for the noise I had heard. I found a statue of a horse that had fallen off the shelf on one of the tall bookshelves. Something had fallen out of the statue, a small rolled up paper. I crouched down and picked it up, opening the worn out paper. It read: what have you done? In writing I recognised.

I stood up suddenly and looked around, "Azariah?" I called, walking back to the hall. A fleeting feeling in me emerged at the figure down the hall. Shrouded in the shadows, I couldn't determine whether it was my sister or not. "Azariah, what is wrong with you? Isn't this a bit…" I trailed off as it walked away, disappearing around the corner.

My pounding heart did not stop as I half ran half walked, following her. I had no idea what she was doing, but this was ridiculous. I had reached the foyer and stood in the middle, it was suddenly freezing. I could see my breath before me as I panted lightly, I hugged myself as my skin crawled and pricked.

But not because of the almost freezing temperature.

The haunting humming that came from upstairs made a small part of me telling to run. But it was my sister, I knew it was her. She had a good voice and I could always hear her sing from her room whenever I passed it. I made my stiff muscles move, I had a mixture of feelings. Dread, annoyance, weariness and anger.

Once I entered the hallway that leads to Azariah's room, the humming stopped and the hallway was now in complete silence. It was like someone had taken away my hearing, and only a strange buzzing sound was left. Standing before a window, I looked out and noted nothing out of the ordinary.

Still, that ominous feeling did not go away. Turning away, I began to walk slowly, cautiously, my steps all too loud and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. I had no idea what was going on, I didn't think Azariah could go to this extent with her magic. Maybe it wasn't her… The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as the feeling of being followed and watched nagged at my heels. As if someone had lifted the walls around me, I could hear it. The little steps of feet behind me, then a giggle and I whirled to find… Nothing.

Nothing at all. Just the moonlight that came through the windows, "Okay. Okay." I breathed. This was not Azariah. No, as much as she hated me, she would not go to this extent. I may have spoken too soon about having no nightmares tonight as a shadow darted across the floor. It came from outside and I instantly backed up. I tried to reach into the slumbering darkness in me, but it had shut its doors.

Again I tried, but it was no use. 'So much for keeping me safe,' I thought in fear. A loud rapping against the glass window got my feet to stop. To my horror, on the glass in bright red writing, it said: R. I was about to run back the way I came from but that was not an option for a figure, maybe six foot or taller, was standing not too far from me. Its body was like a twig and disfigured, it's too long arms bent and twisted in ways I didn't think it'd bend.

It wore nothing but a grey, worn out robe, which was see through to reveal the skeletal body beneath. I couldn't see its face, which was fine by me as just seeing the thing made everything in my own body scream. That was when I decided to run, I did not know where but as long as I was away from that thing that now chased me.

The halls seemed to tip and turn, the walls were leaking some blackish liquid and a foul stench filled the air. It grew stronger as I ran down the endless hall; hands began to jut out from the walls and the ground, reaching for me, ripping my dress with their long nails. Screams of the damned filled my ears, I covered them with my hands wanting to get the gut wrenching sounds out. I had no idea what hellish nightmare this was, but it felt so damn real. More than the previous nightmares I've had.

Something gripped my ankle, it felt slimy and cold and I fell. Though I did not fall on something hard, but something soft that clung to my skin and my torn up clothing. And once I hoisted myself up my shaking and scratched up arms…

I could not believe what I saw. The body was thin and the skin grey and rotten as if it had been sitting out here in the elements for weeks. The smell was worse than the sight, mix of fish, rotting food and meats left out in the sun. But what truly shocked me was the face; the long strands of moonlight hair and the wings the colour of a dove…

It was me.

"No." A strangled cry came from as I finally found the urge to move, shuddering in pure disgust as a maggot fell off my cheek. Me, or, dead me stirred and the head turned to stare at me with its eyeless pits, "What… Have… You… Done?" It rasped.

That was it. I needed out. I needed out of this hell I was trapped in. All I could do was run, run as far as I could away from whatever that screeched after me. I had no idea where I was going; the blind panic had taken over my body.

And just like that, the door slammed shut to close up all the secrets from the world. I fell until I connected with something hard and cold. I was actually thankful for the icy coldness that seeped into my searing skin; it cooled down the flames and dimmed it to a low glow. I didn't even know what happened afterwards, all I knew that I was floating in nothing but pitch-blackness.

And gazing at those eyes, six of the, glowing a magma red which seemed to hold the world's wrath.

* * *

My dreams consisted of just the never-ending darkness, sounds of skittering things and the occasional mocking laughter directed at me. The events leading up to me floating in this abyss did not affect anything. It was like everything was lifted away and I also noticed that the sounds around me never got close. Well, whatever it was tried but there was a hiss and sizzling sound before the thing ran off.

My head was a very dark place and filled with creatures never seen before, and they were all out to get me. But not now, which was… a relief. I started to descend, a waking call tugged at the leash around my neck and so I obeyed. Those embers flickered as if it sensed my ethereal presence, I reached out; to caress it, stroke it so lovingly… Oh, they looked so beautiful, so warm and comforting…

I gasped as I woke up, it was like someone had kept me underwater for too long and my lungs strained as I gulped in deep breaths. And gods did my wings feel stiff! Rising slowly, my bones cracked and a groan of satisfaction came from me. As I started to gather my tired thoughts, the scent of cinnamon and bonfires filled me instantly. It made me shudder as it pushed away those darks thoughts that were about to emerge.

I looked around. And, it took me a moment, to realised I was in a room that I did not recognise. It was simple, dark, bare wooden walls and floors. There was one armoire next to the double bed I laid in, then a dresser beside it with clothing lazily thrown atop it and over the chair. A good half a meter distance before a silent fireplace with a few couches neatly placed before it.

Across the fireplace was a dark mahogany study desk, papers stacked and books open with daggers and a sword strewn across it. A huge ceiling to floor window was behind it allowing the late afternoon sunlight in. The balcony doors were open, the long drapes flowing but no wind entered.

There was a click and then the sound of a door opening, my eyes were drawn across the room, the narrow hallway had a man standing at the threshold and I sunk down in my sheets. I had no idea who he was and I started to panic again, covering the sheets over my head as I heard his light footsteps near. "What are you doing?" The voice was familiar, and I peaked over the thick covers and saw the stranger I had met at the party. He held a tray with steaming food, my mouth watered as I watched him set it across my lap once I propped myself properly.

Today he wore a simple rain coloured shirt, the strings at the neckline were loosely undone to expose most of that muscled, tanned chest. He pulled a chair over and sat down, placing his ankle over his knee and clasping his hands in his lap. I was still staring until he started to chuckle, "If you want, I can take off my shirt." My cheeks heated and I looked away my heart pounding.

"I'm only joking. But I could not help myself, you were eyeing me." He mused as I turned my attention to the food before me. Eggs, toast, bacon and tea. My favourite thing to have in the morning, well, it was afternoon but still. I devoured the food so quickly I felt a little sick, and then drank my tea. "Cauldron, that is a sight to behold." He gasped and I looked at him, wiping my hands.

"What?" I asked, patting my mouth with the towel, "I was hungry. Never seen a woman eat?" I raised my eyebrows as he laughed lightly, his smile slightly faltering to a line. "I figured you were hungry, you were out for almost a week."

"Say that again?" I stared at him in disbelief, not understanding what he had said. Wasn't it just yesterday I had met him…?

"You have been asleep for five days. I heard you screaming in the early hours of the morning, and when I came outside… You were on the ground pale and shaking." He explained, I picked up utter fear and pain in his tone. I looked away, remembering the events that lead up to it.

"And where am I now?" I ask in a small voice, fighting again with those gruesome images. "You are in my private room that I have rented for a few more days. I was meant to leave on that morning I found you but… With your state, I didn't feel confident yet to leave you." Those words made my soul wither, in a good way and made little butterflies start in my stomach.

"Yet, you don't know who I am. And I don't know who you are." I questioned as he stood and took the tray from the bed and set it down on the ground. "I thought you'd know who I am already." I met the russet eye, trying not to gawk at the metal eye. He did remind me of someone but… Who? "I'm sorry. I come across many people… It's hard to keep track of everyone." I worried my lip, keeping my hands in fists in my lap.

"Lucien. High Lord of the Spring Court at your service." Now, I truly gawked at him. 'High lord?!' I looked down at what I wore and saw it was just a shirt then looked back at him, a playful light danced in his expression as he started to laugh. "I never received such a reaction before. You live almost next door to Rhys, what makes me so special?" Lucien's smile didn't fade as I said, "Well, I don't, never actually, wake up in someone else's bed. Especially a High Lord's bed." I boiled.

Oh, oh everything in me was alight with this new and strange feeling. I felt extremely anxious and worried; I could smell his scent all over me and Nate… Oh, Gods! "You look like you want to punch my face in." I glared at him, cursing mentally at him. At least he could have taken me somewhere else, back home even or even gotten some help. Something other than being in his bed.

The door opened again and Rhys strolled in, his hands deep in his jacket's pocket. Violet eyes moved between us as he slowed down a little as if he was seeing something for the first time. He stopped at the foot of the bed, the two Illyrians behind him with a gloomy look. Rhys cocked his head to the side a little, midnight hair shifting across his forehead.

"You two seem to be enjoying each others company." A ghost of a smile played on his lips, reflecting the interest in his eyes. "It started well until I told her who I was." Lucien beamed beside me, I shot him another glare but he only smiled broadly. "Oh? Don't like the thought of being in a High Lords bed?" Rhys smirked and I seethed, throwing a pillow at him. He only caught it and laughed lightly, "At least you are in a good mood." A slight shift in the air, a question hanging between the five of us.

"So? Did you find a body or anything?" I started it off. "Body? What body?" Rhys asked, clearly taken aback. He looked at his spymaster and he shook his head a little, "I did not find a body, Viviana." Azriel said, his face still unreadable.

"No, I remember there being one. I fell on it, I was covered in it." I now turned to Lucien; his face had softened into an expression of deep worry. "You said you found me, what did you see?" I asked Lucien.

Slowly, he shook his head; a few strands of that lovely red hair came loose. "No, there was nothing on you that indicated you fell… Into a body. Though your skin was ripped open and you had a lot of bruises," A fearful look in his eye, "It was like you were dragging yourself along the ground." The High Lord said in a very soft tone, I swear I heard a bit of fear in it.

I didn't even notice it until now when he mentioned it, I looked down to see my arms peppered with scratch marks and light bruises. Not caring that four men were watching me as I pushed back the heavy sheets to reveal my long legs also cut up and bandaged. A small-strangled cry came from me as I touched my legs, "It was worse before." Lucien said a little grim. "At least your body healed the open wounds." He added as I pulled back the sheets over my legs.

"I don't… I don't… Understand," I looked up to meet the violet eyes, then stared at the Spymaster and Commander. "Are you sure, so very sure, you didn't find a body? The thing reeked as if it was there for weeks at least."

Again, Azriel shook his head, this time, Cassian spoke, "We are certain. If a body was dumped, we would have known. Especially if you say it has been there for weeks." The beginning of this week was a strange turn of events; maybe something at the club had messed with my head… I leant against the headboard and stared at my arms, watching the scars slowly fade away. And that creature that had caught me on the dance floor…

"The real question is how did you get these scars? And why you were out for a week." Rhys stated it more like a thought, tapping his chin with his finger. "Before Lucien found me…" I started before I explained in details of what had happened after the club. I was a crying mess when I finished, the images so clear and the fear I felt wedged its way into me again. A tissue was shoved in my hand so I could wipe away my tears and the gunk from my nose. I was such a messy girl when I cried.

Azriel had moved and sat beside me, the scarred hand covered my own. The cobalt siphon shone in the light, "Don't fear." Came his soft reply, "I feel, with what you have told us, you must've drunk something to make this nightmare realistic at that club you went to."

Lucien stood up quickly, his face stricken with regret, "I gave you that water… I didn't know, I'm so sorry." I could only smile at him, wanting the High Lord not to worry, "It's okay, really. Like you said, you didn't know. I didn't even taste anything or smell anything off. I guess we can blame each other." I laughed lightly, he somewhat relaxed but it didn't seem to ease the discomfort in his body.

"I guess that settles it. But, I will take a look at it, so just stay clear of those clubs, Viviana." Rhys gave me a curt nod before he turned. Azriel patted my hand before he exited the room with Cassian. Rhys paused at the threshold to look at me over his shoulder, "Before I go, Nate will come soon to take you back. I'd dress quickly; he has been fretting like a mother all week. He hasn't seen you as well." I instantly frowned, there wasn't anyone stopping him to check up on me. "I told him to stay away, he was going to take you back to your own room but I said you were being well looked after." With that, Rhys gave a short wave before he left.

Lucien was still standing, staring at the door. "I um, I should maybe get dressed, like Rhys said. But I don't see anything…" I held the duvet tightly in my hands, wondering if I were to dress in male attire. "Ah. I got something." He moved to his armoire, opening the doors before he rummaged through the many expensive tunics he had hung inside.

Then he pulled out the gown.

It was a beautiful piece, silk underneath with chiffon. It was like burnished gold, the beginning stages of a sunset. It had a tight bodice and was loose past the hips. The sleeves looked like they were attached to the bodice and were just off the shoulder. "There is a button here," Lucien started to go red in the face a little, "Where I can undo for your wings." He turned the gown to show the back. It was an open back but it was fairly modest, which I liked.

"You didn't need to go to such lengths…" I breathed, unable to speak as the gown took me away. "Do you not like it?" He asked, lowering the gown, "No! I-I love it… I just, you just met me and… I don't think I deserve it…" I stumbled over my words, shaking a little.

"I think everyone should deserve something, be it little or big." Lucien laid the gown gently on the bed, "I hope it fits. I'll wait outside, call me when you are done." Watching his back, I recalled his words. As much as people told me I deserved much more, I was quite happy with what I have. I eyed the gown, it was very out there and different compared to my collection.

Yet a small tug pulled at me and I found myself slipping on the gown. It was a perfect fit and hid all my curves and made my chest seem smaller. I struggled to tie up the lace but quickly did the three buttons along the back of my neck. I picked up the silk belt and tied it around my hips, there was pressed stones at the ends. "Okay, I'm done," I called as I slipped on the slippers.

Lucien came back in and a light in his remaining eye seemed to sparkle, just like the ocean outside I could see. "Well," He looked so aghast as he came over, not being subtle as he checked me out. I shook my head and made a face at him, "The colour suits you. Brings out your skin." I snorted and laughed, "So cheesy." I stuck my tongue out at him as he loosed out a chuckle.

"You didn't do the bodice right." He said I didn't even get a chance to say anything before he turned me around and began to fix it. "I couldn't see what I was doing." I murmured as he undid it all, I had to hold the dress up before he tightened it. "Is that tight enough?" He asked me, "Yes. That's perfect. I didn't think you'd be an expert at this. I'm guessing you tighten ladies corsets a lot?"

"I also undo them." He closed his mouth quickly and pursed his lips tightly; deep worry creased his face as he seemingly regretted saying it. Jealousy appeared out of nowhere and I scowled, annoyed at the fact he had bedded women before. 'Why am I so worked up over this? It's not my life, he can do whatever he wants with it.' I told myself and patted the gown down.

But I stole a glance at him and wondered, those lips on another woman's body… Or those hands touching parts… I backed up a step and turned away from him. I knew I was being ridiculous, stupid and ridiculous.

Wings saved me before a light thump was heard outside. Nate in his towering height walked in, his face unreadable but his deep blue eyes bright. "High Lord." He said as I made my way over to him, his arm sliding around me as I tucked myself in. "Nathaniel. Good to see you, you look well." Lucien said a bit too tightly; his eyes were devoid of anything. 'Good.' I thought as I rested my head on his chest.

"Thank you for looking after my love, I appreciate it." Nate continued with sincerity, he looked down at me and smiled softly. I smiled lovingly back as he brushed a hair out of my face, "We must go, her friends worry and wish to see her." Nate began to walk to the door; I stopped to stare at Lucien. "Next time, watch what you say." Before I closed the door, feeling that slight anger flicker in me.

* * *

The ride home was silent. Nate kept his attention on the outside world while I leant against him, our hands entwined in his lap. Once the carriage came to a stop at the front steps, Nate got out and held the door for me as I stepped out. I looked up to the pearly white manor; it gave me a strange shiver before a loud bang brought my attention to the front.

The doors were thrown open and my whole group of friends all stood there, staring at me wide-eyed. Nishka was the first to bound down the stairs and jump on me, squealing. I caught her just in time but crashed against the carriage. I yelped at the painful jab into my wings and she let me go instantly. "Oh, Vivie!" She cried before she hugged me again, sobbing into my shoulder as I patted her back. "I was so damn worried! All of us were!" I had to pry her off me; she was reluctant but stepped back.

I looked at my friends who all had worried faces before I was bombarded with questions.

"How are you feeling?"

"What happened?"

"Did you get hurt?"

"Why were you gone for a week?"

I felt a little lightheaded after the storm of questions. Nate's strong arms held me steady as he hushed them, "Come on guys, give her a minute okay?" He pushed them away as he walked me up into the manor. "Come, let's go to your room." I paused in the doorway and shook my head quickly, "No, I… I want to go to the gardens. I want to spend some time outside." Nate only nodded as he took my arm and we both walked outside.

The sun had well set and hovered just above the hedges that line the gardens, the sky became a pastel blue, the clouds like streaks of pink and purples. Long shadows stretched across the grounds so I stayed where there was sunlight. I found an iron bench and sat, my skirts rustling a little. Nate groaned as he took a spot beside me. I reached up to fiddle with my necklace, but there was nothing there.

I bolted up again, looking around then staring at Nate. "What's wrong now?" He questioned, the way he said it got my blood boiling. "My necklace is gone. Oh, gods. I-I need to go back, I need to get it-" Nate stood and held my shoulders, "We will look for it tomorrow. Don't worry too much about it, okay?" He tried to reassure me but it was the only thing left of my Mother; I never took the piece off. "N-No, you don't understand. I need to have it back. I-I never lost it before-" Nate shook me to break the panic in me. "Silvy. Don't. Worry. I'm sure Lucien has it-" I pulled his hands off me and stepped away, the white pebbles crunching beneath my feet.

"I must get it back." I repeated as I picked up my skirts and started to head back the way I came from. "Silvy, for fuck's sake!" Nate growled and grabbed my arm tightly, a small cry coming from me. "Let me go, why can't you understand I want my necklace back?" I shook my arm but he held me firm. "It's just a necklace, Viviana." I paled a little; he barely used my full name unless he was pissed. "We can look for it tomorrow like I said, now go sit back down, you had a shit week." A demand. No room to argue.

"Don't tell me what to do," I ripped his hand off my arm, stumbling back a little, "My necklace means everything to me. It's the only thing left of my mother, I wish you could understand that. But I guess not, since you never had one." Something pulsed in my head like someone clamped their hands on me and squeezed. Then the stinging pain of his hand against my cheek, I fell to my knees, my arms slicing against the thorns of the rose bushes.

Tears ran down my face as Nate gripped my chin and turned me to face him. Darkness crept behind those eyes, a wild, killer look. "Don't. You. Fucking. Talk about that. Don't ever use that against me." He flicked me away, I whimpered as I cowered down and he stood. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." He muttered as he walked away.

The look in his eyes had scared away my shadows as if that darkness in them was ancient and more terrifying. I didn't dwell on that for long since Brea came running over, helping me instantly to my feet. "I heard what happened." She patted me down, brushing away the dirt of my skirts. She reached up to touch my cheek but I winced back. Her apprehensive expression lowered the glare forming on my face, "I pushed him too far, that's all. I said something I shouldn't." A light wind caressed my face; it felt more like a kiss from some distant world. Or person. Tenderness more like it.

I ignored it as I focused on Brea, "I heard that too. Yet he has no right to slap you. You just came back from a week of sleeping after a terrible… Whatever it was." Rhys had not informed Brea either, I'd have to explain to them all soon enough. There were a few minutes of silence, until Brea said, "Come, let's go inside. It's almost dark." The sky had turned to a deep purple and blue; stars began to make their appearance.

I attended dinner but kept silent beside Rahuel who tried to make light conversation. He too eventually gave up but stayed by my side even after dinner. He reminded me of Tarquin, the lovely, kind hearted High Lord of the Summer Court. I always wondered if Rahuel worked with the High Lord, but I'd never ask, as it would be prying into his past life.

He walked me up to my room and opened my door, though he gently held me back. "I want you to know I am here for you. All of us are." He kissed my cheek gently before he left me be. I watched as the dark skinned High Fae walked down the hall, before turning a corner. I slipped into my room in silence before I stripped into tight fitting pants and a band around my chest. I shoved a thick cloak in my pack and slung it over my shoulder.

Tonight, I needed to have some time alone. Completely alone. I left a quick note on my bed in case if anyone needed me before I threw open my windows. The night sky called to me, the wind that was my best friend pulled me and I leapt out from the window frame. My wings beat before it carried me high into the sky. The tension in my body dropped instantly as I called upon the wind to carry me so I could glide across Velaris.

The world was so much different from above, so serene and the only sound was the howling of the wind past my ears. I dipped and I dived, I twirled and laughed, everything in me, all my hatred, my anger and my worries just… Disappeared.

It was just me and the beautiful moon rising from the ocean.

Flying was my getaway. Flying was my peace. Flying was my virtue.

No one could get me, no one could reach me, no one could bother me. I flew hard and fast, then slow and steady along the currents of the ocean. I was a shooting star in the sky, Feyre had told me once, my wings glowed brightly and left a small trail of stardust behind. I did one big circle around Velaris, passing the House of Wind before I glided low along the water and around to the cliffs.

I found the private place with Nate and settled along the small grassy spot. The wind wasn't strong tonight, to my liking actually. I padded around to find some sticks enough to last half of the night at least before I started a small fire in the alcove of the rocks. I set out my cloak and wrapped myself up as the fire flickered to life. Warm and comfy, I had stayed awake all night. I didn't bother to add more wood as the light of the moon was bright enough.

Once the break of dawn began, only then did I pack up and fly back. I took my time, lazily swooping up and down along the cliffs then Velaris came into view. Curiosity got the best of me and I found myself landing on the roof of the High Lord of the Spring Court. I didn't think the estate was so small, but I guess he travelled alone and didn't need much space.

The garden was small and very private, no one could see in or out. And at the very back, a glass structure, which looked like a hot house to me, had wall creepers all over it. It completely covered the roof and the sides, only leaving the front open section to be able to see inside.

I didn't even expect it. Inside was a large in ground bathtub that would fit around eight or more people. And there, lounging back, his perfectly toned body was Lucien.

And he was staring directly at me.

I choked; I scrambled and slipped on the roof. My Fae-hearing picked up his comical tone, "What a way to start the morning. A sneaky little thing spying on me. You're welcome to join me." I took off instantly, his barking laughter following me as I hastily landed in the front gardens of my home.

I stumbled up the stairs; feeling so mortified of what I had seen. Okay, it wasn't bad, but I knew if he met me again. He would not let it go and would tease me constantly. But all those jittery emotions halted as I came into the foyer to see Devyn crying in Brea's arms and Nishka holding a letter in her hand.

The trio looked up and paled as they saw me. There eyes glossy either from crying or dread. "What's going on?" Alarmed and ready to act I came over to Nishka. "Your sister." She started, her slender hands shaking. They all looked rumpled as if they woke up suddenly. "What about her?" Consternation filled the air, the heavy weight of quiet foreboding.

Nishka handed me the letter.

I read it.

My heart stopped.

Azariah had run away.


	4. Chapter 4

Six hours.

Six fucking hours had passed. And not a single word or idea of where Azariah had run off to. Rahuel had made haste to the Summer Court with Nishka, Raella was a bit more reluctant but eventually winnowed to the Winter Court. While Ereus and Vhen scouted Velaris in case she was in hiding.

That left Aida and Brea, who had just left the sunroom to leave Devyn and me alone. I stood in the huge glass dome, staring out at the gardens. The sun had moved to its halfway point, indicating the start of the afternoon. The golden orb in the clear blue sky did not stir my cold soul, the ice that laced my bones.

The colours around me seemed washed out and lifeless, just like the turmoil of dread in me. The words of the note that was left behind still clang through me, "Don't look for me. I don't want to see you. I've found my place." A small sob escaped me as I covered my mouth, bowing my head a little as I closed my eyes tightly.

Where did I go wrong? Did the hospitality I gave to her not enough? I did not prevent her from seeing people, I allowed her to do what she liked, and I used my own money to buy her lavish gowns and jewels. I even took her out on shopping days or just a walk along the Sidra River, just her and me.

So, what was the problem? A light touch on my arm got me to pull my hand from my face, Devyn leant on his walking stick and stared at me with red and puffy eyes. "Don't cry," He said softly, pulling out a small handkerchief from his jacket pocket and wiped away my tears. "I'm… I'm sure we will find her." Devyn loved Azariah so much to the point where he had fended off thieves, despite his ruined leg. He had come home with a broken arm, but Azariah had not been touched or harmed.

He'd do anything in his power to keep her safe. I gazed back out, my vision becoming blurry again. "Have I been a bad sister?" I asked him in a quiet voice, his hand around my arm tugged me so I fully faced him. "Of course you have been. Viviana… We wouldn't be alive without you. I'm so grateful everyday for what you have done for us. And… And I'm so proud to be your brother." He held me, or well we held each other, our heads tucked into shoulders as we both cried.

"I just, I don't feel like I've done enough for her. For both of you. As much as I try to spend time with her, she's the one turning away from me. And it's so fucking contradicting since she tells me off for not being with her." I breathed, shaking my head as I let him go and walked over to the open glass window.

I inhaled the autumn air, picking up a familiar scent. "Azariah is like that." Devyn replied, hobbling over to a chair propped near a small iron table. "Yes. I know. But it's hard to know what she wants from me." I countered, trying to douse the bite but Devyn had winced a little. "It's like, whatever I do, it seems to make it worse." I continued, "Is there something she is keeping to herself? Or something you know that I don't?" I asked as I turned back to my little brother.

It took him a while to say anything but he eventually shook his head, his silver hair shrouding his face, "No, nothing at all." I kept on staring at him, pinning him. He held my own gaze, the fierceness that reflected my own shining in them, "I mean it. I wouldn't keep secrets from you, Vi. But, I can say this; I have noticed her being a bit out of it. Especially being at Miss Ophilia, Az has been either nodding off or arguing with her. She's about to kick her out." I frowned; Az loved learning new things, especially about the history of Prythian.

"And you tell me this now?" I'd not once received a letter stating about Azariah's behaviour from the woman, and I figured because Az had been good. I guess I was wrong. "I was but Azariah told me not to… She didn't want you to get involved." Again, she contradicted herself about me not being in her life.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. It was all too much, the need and worry to find her and now knowing she hadn't been herself lately… "But you must know something Devyn. Something big must've happened to make her run away…" A sharp pain in my chest whenever that word was said, 'run away'. Again, Devyn shook his head, "If I knew, I'd tell you with or without Azariah's knowledge."

I fell silent, pondering over whatever could have happened. But nothing seemed to click in place. Another sigh came from me, I needed Nate right now. As much as I bristled at the thought of him, of what he did to me, I wanted him here.

And that raised another question, where the hell was Nate? He hadn't returned last night or even came looking for me… But then again, he never did when he took off. So I pushed the thought out of my head and concentrated on what was happening now.

Devyn had fallen back into that silent daydream; his eyes became distant as he stared out the glass. I gave him a hug before I left him alone, needing to contact Miss Ophilia as soon as possible. I headed up to my room, changing into some pants and a thick jumper, ignoring the fact I looked very underweight.

Hastily combing my hair and styling it to a half up half down and left my room, only to bump into Brea. "Ah!" I gasped as stepped back from her, noticing the guest beside her. "In a hurry, I see." She gave me a small smile, turning to Lucien who stared at me. "Well, I'll leave you with her then." She turned on her heel, her pale pink gown rustling as she left.

Seeing the High Lord always made me feel lively instantly, as if he filled that empty hole with his light. I straightened up as I tried to give him the best smile I could muster, "Hello." I said, still smiling broadly. But Lucien looked grave, his lips set into a thin line, as he seemed to see through my acting. "You don't need to pretend, Viviana." Even my name on his lips made me shudder a little, but it was chased away by my instant spark of annoyance. "Pretend? I'm not pretending." I laughed lightly, shaking my head.

"I know and met many people who have been in your situation. I know what it feels like losing someone you care for." My mask slipped off and I stood dead still, every part of me crumbled and I stepped back. He seemed to realise he had said something bad and jolted forward a little, "I didn't mean it that way. I meant-"

"No, I know what you meant. You just don't have the right to come here and tell me that. And what are you going to do anyways? Huh? Tell me that it'll be all fine, that she'll come back? It's been now seven hours. Technically ten hours since she had taken off, to Cauldron knows where." I was easily pushed over the edge, easily snapping at others especially under heavy stress. My heart hammered in my chest, my blood like fire under my skin.

"I'm not here to tell you it'll be fine-" I cut him off again, "Then what? Here to tell me that I should stop worrying about her and let her go? To learn that not everyone can be with me forever? That's fine, I know that. Everyone leaves eventually." I stepped away from his outstretched hands, shaking my head furiously. I started to tremble; my body feeling like it was caving in and my lungs tightening.

I knew what this was and everything seemed to just cloud my mind. "I can never do anything right. I'm just a stupid little girl who can't keep her own family happy, why can't I just do something right for a change?" I cried, tears running down my flushed cheeks.

"Viviana, you haven't done anything wrong. I know what's-"

"No you don't! You don't know anything! Nothing about me!" I let out a growl, baring my teeth. The fire that thrummed along my skin became cold and menacing, shadows curled around my body as they readied to strike. "Don't you dare tell me what to do, don't ever!" I cried, tears streaming down face as my wings flared out and knocked over the large ceramic vase.

The loud crash made me jump as I stared at it, "I make so many mistakes… I'm such an idiot." My skin pricked at the feeling of flames and I was pressed against the wall, Lucien holding my shoulders with such gentleness I froze. So close, his body, the heat so intense but I made no move to run.

"You are not an idiot," he snarled, "I do not want to hear those words come from you." He spoke as if he knew my very being, knew every inch of me and felt my cheeks go red. The panic in me settled slowly from his thumbs that circled my bare shoulders. It was like wildfire, burning away the old and uselessness, allowing new life to regrow and replenish.

I looked away but he caught my chin and made me look at him, my head was tilted back. "As little as I know about you, I am certain you are no idiot. You would not be here, alive and well, a roof over your head, food to fill your belly, clothes to keep you warm… You've been brave and smart and careful all these years, making sure your family is kept well." He still held firm, my tears trickling down over his fingers, "And I promise you, Vi," my heart stuttered as he cupped my face in his hands, his calluses rough against my skin, "I'll find your sister and bring her home safe and sound. As much as you don't want me to, you're my- you deserve the peace of mind." He had caught himself quickly, I had almost missed it but I did pick up his fault. I'd question him about it later.

Though, the sincerity in his voice made me feel more confident. I rested my hands on his wrists as I nuzzled his hand a little, "Thank you." I murmured, his fingers slipping into my hair. "Every word is true, you don't need to thank me." He came a little closer, our foreheads almost touching.

Being this close to the High Lord, his lips inches away from mine, less than an inch between us… It was not panic that got my heart racing but something else. Some that got my blood singing and my soul yearning so I gently pulled his hands away and stepped back but only to find myself still backed against the wall.

Until a feral growl made my blood instantly turn to ice.

I turned my head to see Nathaniel stand not to far, his face unreadable but the violence that danced behind those deep blue eyes… Lucien pulled his hands from me and stepped back. His whole body became taut as his hand lazily draped over the hilt of the arm length dagger at his hip, which I did not notice.

Nate looked at the fallen vase then back at Lucien, he was piecing a puzzle that never happened. "You dare take advantage of her." Another growled ripped from his throat as he began to walk towards us. "I did no such thing. You better stop where you are if you wish to stay alive." Lucien said with deadly calm, his head held high as the two males sized each other up.

I quickly stepped between them, holding my hands up, "Stop it, both of you. Nate, quit trying to be the alpha male here, Lucien wasn't doing anything to me. I knocked over the vase from my clumsiness." I walked up to Nate, giving him a sweet smile as I placed one hand on his arm the other on his chest. He kept glaring at Lucien who still didn't move his hand from the hilt, so I turned on him this time, "And you as well, stop whatever you're doing. Nothing good will come out of this if you two fight." I met Lucien's gaze and he nodded, letting his hand drop to his side.

"I'm sorry, just taking precautions. Illyrians tend to be a bit… Hot-headed." One minute I was on my feet, the next I felt a pain in my shoulder as I was knocked aside to the ground. I whipped around to see Nate had held Lucien against the wall with a blade to his throat, Lucien's own weapon poised just beneath Nate's ribs where his heart would be. Both males were locked in an intense stare, "Watch what you say, prick." Nate pressed the blade a little closer to that tanned neck, a small whimper escaped from me, as I feared for the High Lords life.

I've seen how Nate fought, feral and untamed. He obliterates his opponents with his bare hands; it was not a sight to behold if one's stomach was not strong.

"It's the truth, no? You're the worst one I've met; Cassian and Azriel are pretty decent guys-" Nate was about to slash his throat until an invisible hand caught his hand midair. He struggled against the binds but my shadows held firm, making an appearance. He was tangled up in them and his head turned to look at me.

The tendrils had leaked from beneath my jumper and trailed all the way to Nate, light whispers I could only hear tickled my ears. "You put that blade down, Nathaniel." I said as I eased up, I did not need actions to help me control the shadows; only a mental command got them moving. But I felt myself begin to drain instantly, all my strength and power started to diminish after my mini blow out just not long ago. My magic depended on my mental and physical health and since I was in neither good terms with both… It weakened me.

The bonds on Nate dropped and he stumbled backwards, his blade thudding on the carpet. His nostrils flared as he shook with unrelenting anger, then when he saw me sway it seemed to put a lid on his quick temper and he made to move to me.

Only, I seethed, "Don't come near me, don't." Lucien even stopped moving, I saw a light trickle of blood on that smooth neck. And whatever in me, deep down among that low glowing embers was this insane need to keep him protected. "Get out." I said, aggravated as I directed it at Nate.

"He started-"

"I don't fucking care who started this stupid little fight. You get out, get out and only come back with a clear head." I snapped, leaning heavily against the wall. My strength began to replenish quietly, filling up that emptiness once again. Nate pursed his lips, shot a glance at Lucien before he walked by me, stopped and gave me a look I couldn't read before he stormed off. 'So much for wanting him here,' I didn't watch his figure disappear around a corner, only to slide down the wall and press my face into my hands.

I did not want to deal with this now, of all the things. Cinnamon filled my nose and I looked up to see Lucien kneeling in front of me, a distraught look etched into his face. "I shouldn't have said that. I made things worse." He gave me a tight smile but I was mostly drawn to the wound on his neck. "Don't worry-" He stopped talking when I reached out and touched his throat; the thin line closing up instantly.

"That's true," I said, satisfied now that he wasn't bleeding, "As much as it was true, you shouldn't have said it. You're lucky the wound wasn't life threatening." A small pink line remained. Lucien nodded a little before he helped me back to my feet, my strength had returned but I still felt empty. Like my shadows had completely left me alone. I guessed that the magic side of me needed to fill up as well.

"Come on. Let's go. I want to get out of this house." I said as I began to walk, Lucien beside me. "Thanks, by the way." I shrugged, "No need to thank me." I mirrored his response earlier, a smirk tugged at his lips. "Where are we heading to anyways?" He asked as we descended the stairs in the foyer.

"I need to find my sister's Tutor," I sighed in delight as the late afternoon sun kissed my face, "My brother told me that she had been acting up during her lessons, and hadn't told me until then."

"Acting up? How so?" Lucien questioned. "Not paying attention, causing a bit of a disturbance. It's unlike her to do such thing, she loves to learn." I simply replied, taking Lucien through small streets that were crammed with tiny cafes I had yet to visit once again.

I kept my pace quick, wanting to get to the teacher as quick as possible. Delaying this unorganised meeting was just bringing Azariah further away from me. And if Lucien was to help, he'd need to know her whereabouts roughly. Or something, whatever that could lead us to my stubborn sister.

Lucien kept beside me, his steps not once faltering. Every glance towards him, I could see he was being vigilant. His hand had rested on the hilt of that jewelled dagger at his hip; a slight shake of my head brought his attention to me. "What?" He said.

"You being so cautious. People are looking at you as if you're about to murder someone." It was true, I could hear the hushed whispers from the onlookers seated in the cafes or walking by us. "Velaris is a city of peace, not a city of warriors. Take your hand of that hilt and relax, he isn't stupid to fight you in broad daylight. If he did, Rhys would take him down instantly." Lucien gripped the hilt tightly but let it go eventually, but his expression remained the same.

"Better than nothing." I mumbled as we began an ascent, my breathing already laboured as I paused half way up. I braced my hands on my knees as I panted heavily, "You know you could have just flown up. You have wings." He stroked the curve of my wing, and being sensitive I gasped. It was a blend of a moan and an outtake of breath as I shuddered and snapped back up.

Lucien pulled his hand away and gave me a wide-eyed look, but being the dirty minded fool he broke into a devilish smirk. "I didn't think you're wings were sensitive." He stated, the twinkle in his eyes still staying put.

"I have Illyrian blood which I inherited from my father," I flushed, fighting with the thought of his hand now imprinted on my wing. Was it bad that I wanted more?

"But don't Illyrians have skin like wings instead of feathered?" He asked, completely mystified. "With what I remember, my mother had feathered wings. I guess I got a bit of both worlds." I said as we started to walk once again.

"Can I ask, you don't need to answer it if you don't feel comfortable. What do you remember from your parents?" Innocent question, I knew, but it still hit hard. I still managed to reply, even though a terrible memory wanted to rise, "Not much actually. It's kind of blurred now, just knew that my father, Kaius, was a young Illyrian training in the camps in the mountains. During the Blood Rite he came across my mother who was badly injured and if I remember correctly, he had saved and nurtured her." I paused a little, catching my breath once again, "Though, as you know Illyrians can be ruthless and cruel to their women and when my mother was found by one of the camp Lords… Well, my father had said they did terrible things to her, they even went as far as breaking her wings until they were just stubs on her back." I slowed my walking until I stopped beside a lamppost.

Lucien's face was tight, as if he to was recalling a long-ago memory, "My father said that her wings were beautiful. Black coloured yet he described them as the starry sky as they to glittered." I brought my wing around to stare at the black tips, they weeped teardrops of liquid sparkles and disappeared before touching the ground.

He brushed a knuckle along the primary feathers, even though it wasn't where the skin was; it still sent a heat between my legs. His eyes moved up my legs, and a strain in me almost made me pounce on him the way he stared at me. I pulled my wing back instantly, tucking it tight behind me as he dropped his hand.

"But you have silver wings." He said all to quietly, I was glad he spoke first since I was a maelstrom of salacity. "Yes," A short nod, "I don't know why, but I guess silver it is." I looked up the hill, not wanting to meet his vehement gaze.

"Come on." I gathered myself and breathed, letting the hunger in me flow through my nostrils; "We'll discuss this later. We are not that far now." I went ahead, all of a sudden finding some inner energy to walk.

The building was once a rundown warehouse but had been renovated to look more like a penthouse. The outside walls were painted a dusty pink; the white windows had wrought iron flower boxes all overflowing with wisteria, azaleas, purple bellflowers and tulips. Miss Ophilia reminded me a bit of Elain, so bubbly and always, always had flowers in her hair or printed on her gowns.

The bright green door had a sign with 'Knock, Please.' So I did, three times and waited. "Coming!" A high-pitched trill came from behind the door before it swung open to reveal a short, corpulent woman dressed in a flowing dress the colour of the sunset. Small white petals were sewn into the thick fabric, some magic kept the petals fresh instead of wilted and dried.

Miss Ophilia had long curly golden brown hair, which came to the floor almost. Atop her head was a large crown of hepaticas and hollyhocks, which flowed down her back like a tail. Her face was round and dark skinned like soil; the freckles that covered her entire face made it look like so. Her eyes were honey coloured and always crinkled at the corners when she smiled. Dimples dotted her cheeks as she beamed, "Viviana sweetie!" She pulled me into a tight hug, fresh, sweet scent of flowers tickled my senses, "I have missed you so." I had bend down in order to return the hug, I chuckled lightly. "I've missed you to, Miss Ophilia." I mused.

I stepped inside and she gasped as she stared at Lucien, "Ah! I did not expect you to bring a guest! Especially a High Lord!" She opened her arms so she could hug him, he gave me a worried look before he was yanked down on his knees and hugged tightly. He gave me a I-Need-Help-Right-Now look and I laughed, something I hadn't done for some time. "Handsome as always, how is the Spring Court, my Lord?" She let him go and he hastily stood, fixing his tunic. "Peaceful." He replied with a smile.

"Good! I must visit sometime, one day." She gestured for him to enter before closing the door and hobbled down the brightly coloured hallway. "Come, I have tea ready. I've been expecting a visit from you, Viviana. We have a lot to chat about."

Each room was a explosion of colours; no one room had a single colour but four to six types along every surface. The crystal chandeliers that hung in the middle of the rooms seemed to absorb the overpowering colours, making it softer for the eyes. It still dawned on me how the students here were able to concentrate on their work, but I didn't dwell on that much as Miss Ophilia took us out to the overgrown garden of flora.

I could hear bees buzzing to and thru, I had to dodge a few that whizzed by my face. I could not see the pergolas as they were entirely covered with green leaves and vines. "Elain created these natural pergolas. A beautiful gift from her." Miss Ophilia said ahead of us, a large open area came into view with white iron table and chairs. Atop was a tray with a teapot and three, already prepared cups of steaming tea. Though, here in the garden it felt more like summer, sweat slicked my forehead a little.

"Elain has created something similar back at the manor, she's becoming more intricate and more complex as she explores her magic." Lucien examined the leaves, the flowers. Everything. A pang of jealousy made me scowl, I looked away from him as I took my seat. "Talented young woman," Miss Ophilia nodded as she claimed her spot before me, Lucien on my left. "But, we are not here to discuss flowers and plants, are we?"

I shook my head, "No, I came to ask you about Azariah and her progress here." Miss Ophilia cocked her head to the side, "Oh? I thought you would have known already. Did you not receive my reports?" Ah, I had forgotten about them. "No," I shook my head, "Nothing at all. In fact, I know nothing. Devyn has been keeping secrets from me."

A flash of annoyance in those honey eyes before she sighed, "No wonder you haven't come sooner." Papers appeared in her hands before she laid them out on the table, opening the thin book. "I've recorded her progress, achievements, everything. The past four years since she has been here." I took the book from her and started from the beginning and slowly skimming through the pages. I noted the major strengths till now. It had lowered quite significantly, the numbers no long double digits by mid this year.

"For a girl who almost shook with anticipation when coming here," Miss Ophilia puckered out her bottom lip, her brows furrowing, "By mid-semester it just… She became so distant and dejected. She became a bit more, how can I say, troublesome."

Azariah had always been a disorderly girl, always so stubborn and hard to control but when she was in her zone… She became so focused and wrote everything down when facts were given to her. "The other students have become a little scared of her." I looked up from the papers, "Why?"

She took a while to reply, turning the gold ring around her index finger, "She's been quite… Rude to the other students." I looked at her to explain, "Name calling. But not your childish ones, things like 'Shut up you whore,' or 'Go fuck yourself, bitch' and even 'don't be such a slut, you already riding a dick'."

So unlike her. "That explains her outburst last week…" I mumbled, setting the book on the table. "She's been unkind to me, like that. Not calling me a slut or anything, but I can tell she wants to say it." Lucien's hand twitched in his lap, now splayed on his thigh.

"Have you tried to talk to her, then?" Miss Ophilia questioned, "Because that's as about it, I'm sorry to say." My heart dropped, I was hoping to the Cauldron that there would have been more. A gentle touch made me look down to see Lucien's hand over mine.

"I just put it off as her being moody, you know. And I was hoping you'd know more, actually. Since, well… She's run off." I held his hand tightly.

Miss Ophilia gasped a little, her hand going to her throat. "What? When?" She was stunned to hear the news, her eyes widening. "This early morning. She left a note that she had found a better place and did not wish to be found."

"Oh Viviana… Like I said, I did not pick up anything else. I looked through her books, nothing in there seemed out of the ordinary." She flicked through the pages, shaking her head. "Just, her behaviour. I was just about to come personally to you to discuss about this and even a transfer to someone else."

I was now back to the beginning, and hope started to slip from me. I stood, getting ready to leave, "Thank you at least, I'm sorry for the trouble she has caused." Miss Ophilia gave me a sad smile, "Don't worry, Viviana. I can handle it." She walked us out before she stopped me. "I'll send a message to my family in the Spring Court, maybe they have overheard something. I want to help," She noticed the rejection, "You have been the most amazing woman, and this is just something I want to repay you with." I could only smile, appreciating her kindness. The more eyes and ears out there, the more chance I'd be able to find her.

Hopefully.

Once the door closed my shoulders slumped. I wanted to just scream to the heavens above and beg the Gods as to why they did this, know the true reason behind their cruelty. Silently I turned to walk back down the hill, Lucien a comforting warmth beside me.

"Do you have siblings, Lucien?" I asked, hoping knowing a bit more of the High Lord would ease the restlessness. "I do. Brothers. Older brothers." I picked up the distaste in his tone, "So you're the baby?" I tried to make light of the situation but it didn't seem to phase him, so I continued on, "Do you see them often?"

"No." Came his short, abrupt answer. I pursed my lips and stopped talking, Lucien didn't seem inclined to delve into his family and I'd not push him. "My family isn't… Kind. Especially my brothers." He said after a few minutes, "Two of my brothers are already dead. But that was a long time ago and something I'd not like to discuss about." It raised questions but I simply nodded, understanding his request.

Not to far down the hill, someone had stepped out from the alley way and I stopped dead in my tracks. Lucien noticed it too but sniffed the air instead, a skeptical expression. "Oh." I could only say as I spotted the obvious little wings on her back, small for her build. The silver hair that cascaded down her shoulders looked a bit rugged and dirty as if she spent a night out in the sewers. Her sky blue dress ripped in places that shouldn't be ripped and made a white hot fury blaze in me. She stared directly at me, soulless, dead eyes. Her skin so pale and… Was that blood?

I broke in a run; thankful I had not chosen a gown for today. I cursed when my sister turned and ran back down the alleyway, "Azariah! Wait, please!" I cried as I followed her, only seeing little snippets of her hair around corners and her gown. She was undeniably fast, always had been, her speed made up for her useless wings.

I had no idea where she was taking me, but it became almost devoid of any Fae. The alleyways grew quieter and a bit darker from the sun setting slowly. I stopped as I saw Azariah look back at me before she slipped into a warehouse. Well, it was more like a ruin with bits of brick cracked and large holes in the sides. I looked behind me, no sign of Lucien following me but he'd eventually come after me.

I yanked open the doors, the metal screeching as I pushed them back and stepped inside. The doors behind me rolled to a close. Above, the late afternoon sun wedged its way through the openings casting light across the rubble. Dust particles floated in the light, as if someone had disturbed it.

And in the middle, half illuminated, was my sister. Her back was to me, her wings limp and twisted in ways it shouldn't be. I stumbled over bit of rock and fell to my knees; a bark of pain escaped me. "What happened?" I breathed, feeling the ground as I slowly crawled to her. "What happened?!" I cried when she didn't answer. "Please… Please tell me. What… Where have you been?" I wasn't too far from her now, almost in reaching distance.

"Why do you care?" Her reply, empty of emotions. "Why does some bitch like you care?" Her body trembled, her head bowed as she… Laughed. She was laughing. Hysterically in fact. Her head tipped back this time as she let out a roar of giggles of not joy but… Insanity.

"You're my sister. As much as you can be a pain in my ass-"

"If you care, then why do you think that, hm? You are stubborn yourself, you fall into traps so easily, Viviana. Just like with Nate. A man who knows only death and murder, yet you are with him, tied around his finger no matter what he does to you." I didn't understand where she was getting this, or why she knew such things about my relationship. I kept my private stuff behind closed doors.

"Oh, goodness, you are so fucking stupid," she turned slowly, those opal eyes dull and cruel, "I don't even know why I am part of you. My pathetic existence is due to your foolishness all those years ago." A choke caught in my throat, how did she know? How did she know that?

"What are you saying?" A blade appeared in her dirty hand, dripping with a black substance. The smell yanked on the leash I had on that second conscience within me, a pair of eyes opened in that void. "Don't act dumb. I know everything you did, after they died. I know what happened."

"Viviana!" The doors I had come through trembled as Lucien banged on them, "Viviana! It's not her! It's not your sister!" When I stared back at her, one minute it was her the next it was some… I recognised it from the club I had been.

Yet, it felt like that faerie but it was more… Human in a way. Beneath that exquisite, dark clothing I could tell he had a lithe body. Gloves covered the used to be webbed hands, the grip on the hilt of the blade tightened. Lifting my gaze to see into that undeniably handsome face, sculptured to perfection but his eyes were those same black pits with the narrow white slit acting as a pupil. Full lips upturned into a grin, revealing pin-like teeth. "Do you not recognise me, Princess?" He crooned, shooting wary glances at the door and Lucien yelling behind it.

I couldn't move or even have the guts to scream, he had caught me once again in his dark web. The faerie moved down before my legs opened by an invisible hand and slowly he pushed me down. He hovered above me, one hand braced beside my head, the blade pressed on my cheek. "Such beautiful skin, still so pure and clean after all these years." He dragged that blade down, my skin stinging and warm blood spilling down my face.

The blade moved further down, cutting open a deep wound on my neck. More blood welled up, yet my body stayed utterly calm. "Has that man you call lover taken you yet?" Lower the blade went, now just past my collarbones, still opening my skin.

"No." I was forced to speak, whatever poison on that blade was sifting through my memories. "Hm… Interesting. Why? Are you afraid?" I replied with, "I am afraid. I am not yet ready. Not yet." My jumper ripped as he tore it off me, then the blade ripped the band across my chest.

A groan came from him, those pupils dilating a little. 'Lucien,' I pleaded, down that strange pale, pulsating light that disappeared behind a wall of onyx. 'Help me,' the fae male laughed as he paused the tip of the blade above my navel, "Have you found another male to tie around your little lying finger?" He brought his face close to my neck, his cold tongue licking the blood that continued to steadily leak out from.

His body arched and I felt his arousal press against me, a small noise rose from me. "Ooh, I see now. Is that what you want?" He discarded the blade, before he palmed my breasts. I held back that same sound, not wanting him the satisfaction of it. "Oh, Princess, you know you love this. Don't hold back now." His hips ground against mine, and suddenly images of the past flashed before my eyes.

The pungent smell filling the room and my piercing cries of dismay as I begged the Cauldron to end my life. To stop this horror that tore me apart, body and soul. Flashing lights crossed my vision and faces appeared and disappeared, ones I didn't recognised.

Then I was staring back up at the Fae, the pulsating light gave a hard yank and a newfound courage brought my dark powers back to the surface. The fae had his pants undone and paused at my own, sensing the growing power in the warehouse. He stared at me and pure strife made him realise what was about to happen.

"No-" He was thrown back by a dark hand, the sound of bones cracking when he landed hard against a stone pillar. Shrouded now by darkness, my arms covered in the same Illyrian gear, I stood on sturdy legs. My magic, power, whatever, swirled around me, untamed and wild just like fire.

The faerie stirred, lifting his head up to stare wide-eyed at me. "No Fae can carry so much… Let alone, a woman." He coughed up black blood, wincing violently as my shadows snapped and coiled around his body. My hand closed slowly, the shadows tightening around him, "Argh!" He cried, more bones snapped. "If you… Kill me, Princess," He still had the nerve to call me that, "You won't find her." My shadows halted their strangulation, easing a little.

"I know where she has gone to." He continued, resting his head back against the pillar, "I know whom she's with." Blood slithered from his nose. "Liar." I didn't want to believe this vile creature, nothing good came from him. "I speak truth. I can only speak truth, Princess. She is safe, she is well, nestled in the arms of another man."

'Another man?' I thought, my power stalling and waiting. "Who is this man?" I stepped closer to him, keeping my face neutral. "Let me go, and I will take you to her." My power still resumed its course, still flowing out of that open hatch. I had enough strength to keep him still… another otherworldly voice urged me on, 'Go. Get your sister, bring her home.'

My shadows slipped from him and I had made a great mistake for he stood so fast, and used my own power against me. The same amount of strength knocked me back, my body hitting the uneven ground. It should've broken me, but the armor I had kept my body safe and together. I rolled on my side and seeing him appear in one of the last rays of sunlight.

He brushed off the dirt on his jacket; I could hear the shifting of his bones mending each other. "Such a gullible little Princess, so caught up in finding her sister-" A whistling sound and an ash arrow buried itself in his chest. An ear-piercing scream erupted from him as he clawed at the arrow, frantically trying to pull it out.

Great beating wings and the familiar flash of blue light until Azriel appeared, landing before the creature. He dropped the bow and pulled out the sword from its sheath strapped along his spine, but he didn't get to cut the fae up for it exploded in nothing but black mist. Azriel barked a curse as he shield his face with his arm, then a cool chuckle until Rhys stepped from the darkness.

"Was it necessary?" Azriel seethed quietly, staring at his dirty state. "A bit of farcical is needed nowadays." The High Lord drawled, giving his friend a shrewd grin before those violet eyes hardened and narrowed down to me.

One look, and he had dampened my power, slamming the door and locking it with his own mysterious power. My armor fell away in obsidian glass shards, exposing my nakedness and the wounds that still pulsated a sickly red. As if my own blood had been now corrupted from the poison on the blade.

Using my wings, I shield my body from the two males who slowly approached me. I backed up, and they both stopped. "Don't come near me." I whispered, wanting to bring my power back up to push them away. Rhys held on. "Let go of me," I snarled, hating the feeling of being trapped and contained.

The door opened and Lucien, Cassian and Nate filed in. Lucien was in anguish, his skin usually golden now pale as if he was drained of life. I looked at my hands, and I had become bone white, my veins… Cauldron they were black. I looked back up and Nate made a move to me and I screamed at him, strange words burned my tongue as I got to my feet.

The door that sealed my power rattled as the second conscience screamed behind them, which resulted me mimicking it.

"Viviana…" Nate stopped, distraught and totally afraid. He backed away, shaking his head a little. "Get away." I bared my teeth and he did. "It's okay," Rhys tried to douse the situation but I whirled on him, hissing. Azriel and Cassian moved to stand before their High Lord, swords drawn.

A hand grabbed my arm and I turned to see Lucien, eyes wide with… Worry. No fear came from him, only deep, unending discompose. His grip was soft, "No one here is to hurt you, Vi." He reached up to touch the gash and I winced a little, but I allowed him to cup my cheek and gradually I was snuggled into his arms. "No one will hurt you." He whispered in my hair, stroking the strands.

He slipped off his jacket and gave it to me to hold it against me before his strong arms hoisted me up. His arm held my wings but I felt nothing at the brush of his fingers. Lucien had managed somehow to wipe away that distress with a simple touch on my arm, and I was forever in his debt. For… Saving me I guess, Cauldron knows what could've happened.

I spotted Nate, silently standing there, poker-faced but most definitely fuming with quiet rage. 'No,' I told myself, 'No time to think.'

Fatigue began to darken the corners of my vision, and for a change, I welcome the sweet embrace of the cold, void that claimed my body.


	5. Chapter 5

I spent most of the time in my head staring at the pair of red glowing slits. I knew who it was but I denied its existence for fear if I did, it'd open its two other pairs of eyes. It had not woken since that day, almost fifty-three years exactly.

I turned away from it, but a low chuckle reverberated around me. "Scared to admire me?" I tried to find a way out of this place, my darkened mind. But it was like someone had trapped me, it trapped me. So I stopped, allowed myself to calm before I finally acknowledged it.

A large, toothy grin emerged from the darkness. "There we go, I like to see your pretty face." The voice was masculine, deep and throaty. "You look so much like her, the hair, face, eyes…" I kept silent, knowing whom he was referring to. "Your mother was a… Beauty. So unlike the ones I kept in my possession." A cool brush along my arm, as if I perplexed him. "You have more?" I asked, my voice echoed in this dark chamber.

"Of course, a King needs his desires satisfied. And I like to have a bit of a change every now and then." He let a laugh at my growing scowl, those eyes became inline with mine as a shadowy body took shape, and he was roughly a foot taller than me. I could see a black crown that sat atop his head, woven like roots and in the middle of each apex sat a stone coloured like my eyes. "So you… bed my mother before?" I knew my mother was not of this world; she had a different scent and air around her. But it dawned on me just then that I had no idea where she officially came from.

"Yes, like I said, she was not like the others. She had children-" I cut him short, "Children?" The so-called King nodded, "Many, actually. They reside in my realm for now, but have forgotten who had birthed them."

An annoyed tug made me look around, even the King before me stepped back from me. But I brushed it off as just some part of me, so I looked back at him and cocked my head to the side. I studied the figure, nothing stood out except for that thorned crown. "I'd show you my true self but I'm just… a figment of your mind." He came back to me, quite close. I looked up; his smile was nothing but cruel and cold.

He reached up to place that night reflected hand to my cheek; the touch sent a horrid shiver through me. This hand had touched my mother, had gripped her… "These lips… So delicious, if I remember." His eyes moved down, "And this body… Such lovely curves, perfected and shaped to my liking…" He evaluated me, just like…

I shifted away from him, leaving his hand in mid air before it dropped to his side. "Don't touch me." I spat, wanting to cocoon myself in that dark power but I had emptied it now completely. "Oh don't be so pent up, you're mother wasn't like that. She jumped on me when she saw me naked."

"Don't talk about my mother like that. She is not like that." I did not believe this man, he was just a dark part of my head. "I can talk about my whores in any way I wish. I am King, they are nothing but holders of my children." I wanted to lash out, but my tired mind did not even dare lift a finger.

I had to solely depend on my words, "You are no King if you act such way. You should not be honoured with a crown if you whore along the way." I snapped, still hopelessly wanting to gather my power to throw this sick man out of my head.

"Say what you wish, but I've heard worse my little bird." That nickname made me feel… Odd. One other person called me such thing; I liked it then but now… I disliked it. "Get out of my head," I demanded, standing my ground.

"I would, but sadly, it's a no." He smiled. "And why is it a no, hm? Why can't you just go torment someone else!" I yelled, my hands turning into fists and my nails digging into my palms. "So angry, just like your mother. And childish, as well." I wanted to punch that sly smirk off his face, wanted to just kill him. Kill him for touching my mother, for haunting my dreams that caused me so much unease and pain.

"Calm, little bird. Calm. Being infuriated with a figment of your mind will just make you hate yourself and cause harm upon you." He was very much correct but I would not admit that aloud. "I am always right. I have not once been wrong which is why I have ruled since almost the dawn of time."

If I could not rid this parasite, maybe I could worm out some information at least. "You say you are king," I started, thinking over the questions I wished to ask, "From what… world? I never got to ask my mother who she was as I was only ten at the time."

He moved to sit down on a shadowy chair, bringing an ankle over his knee. Draping one arm over the back of the chair, the other lazily across his lap, he studied me. "Storytime, eh?" The arrogance that filtered off him made me bristle slightly. A chair appeared behind me but I stayed standing, staring at him hard. "Just answer the question," I said, unamused.

"Okay, okay. I am a King of Night, a King of Eternal Darkness. King of the Void." I waited silently for him to continue, he seems to like this, basking in his own selfishness. "Where I come from, your mother as well, the realm has no name. It is just a land of shadows and complete darkness. But there are great cities, big and small, filled with many occupants. Dark, vicious occupants." He ran a finger along his leg, and then plucked non-existent lint. "What makes us so remarkable is that we can sometimes appear harmless, normal like the mortals. We can be seen as an everyday person, but the ones with the gift of the Sight can see right through our mask."

"Gift of the Sight? What is that?" This time, I chose to sit, knowing this might be a long talk with this man. "I explained it, little bird, it gives the user the ability to see through a mask. Your mother had such ability, once but I took it away as she was using it to turn my own kind against me for some personal agenda she had." I snorted, "And most likely for good reasons." I muttered.

"I did treat her the best out of my whores-"

"Don't call her that, you prick." I gritted my teeth, hating that word. "Don't call me a prick." He shot back with a frown, but it didn't hide the maleness behind it. My lips curled up in a snarl but I said in a mocking tone, "Don't call her that, your grace." Shaking his head, he said with a sigh, "Better than anything, I guess. But fine, consort," I gave a short nod before he continued, "My consort was given the best treatment, I showered her in lavish goods, materials, jewels. Whatever she wanted, it was given to her. And in return, she allowed me to bed her every night." I still did not like the idea of her with this… Man. She was a lovely woman, she had loved father so much she'd even went as far as hunting down the lords of his camp… And returned with just their skins. I'd not forget that time.

"And what had happened to her when she came here, to Prythian?" Father had told me she was weak and almost dead from the freezing temperatures in the mountains. "Her personal agenda got her kicked from my castle, I had hoped she would die in the Void but I guess she had lived and found an exit and fell into your world." He plucked the crown from his head and stared longingly at the stones pressed into it, "I still miss her, though, I miss gazing into her eyes, admiring the colours that changed all the time." Red eyes met mine, and I could see a deep loneliness in them.

"The whor- I mean, my consorts I have now, warming my bed, they do not do justice. Not the immeasurable pleasure she had given to me. Claudia Lucetta… My Angel from Heaven." My mother's name pierced a little veil in me, grief rolled into me like a landslide, and I found myself struggling to keep my sobs at bay.

"You miss her, don't you?" The King asked me with such a solemn and gentle tone I had just lost it. I… I had never placed a single thought on that day when my parents had died brutally. I had been to caught up protecting my two siblings that I had no time then to grieve.

The King had moved and now knelt before me, his shadowy form shifted and the cool tendrils grasped my wrists and pulled them away. "I can say that she is at peace, especially with that Illyrian with her." I blinked away my tears, a shaky question, "You can… See her?" He nodded, "Can you speak to her? Can you take me to her?" I asked, now gripping his hands.

He looked a little abashed but shook his head, "I cannot. Remember, I am just a small part of your mind." I let go of his hands and looked away, then back at him once I regained a bit of myself, "You keep saying that, what makes you connected to me?" I held back the urge to move as his hand came over to rest where my heart was, "You are special Viviana. That something was what Claudia took from me and was then given to you." I shifted ever so slightly, waiting for him to continue. "Before I had thrown her into that portal to the Void, she had screamed some words at me, a tongue so ancient I barely recognised the complex words and before I knew it, something had… Detached from me and glowed brightly in her hand." He leant back and a gaping hole in his chest opened up to reveal… Nothing.

"You see this? This is where my power sat comfortably, untouched over many millenniums; it brought down many realms and broke cities. She had not taken a whole great of it, but enough that it could shatter a land into nothing." He looked up slowly, his gaze now blazing with great fury. "And it flows in your blood, slowly growing stronger and hungrier, wanting its lust for destruction to be fulfilled." His voice grew excited, almost hysterical, "And I should be so mad at her, for stealing that precious thing but seeing you now… Finally able to speak to you… Gods, Viviana, it brings me great pleasure that you could be like me. You could rule this city you call home, you could rule the world with it." He gripped my shoulders tightly; I winced a little at the pain.

"But… I am a Shadowsinger… I thought I was just a little more advanced in it…" It did raise questions to why I was able to do more than just hear and feel with my shadows. "Oh you indeed are a Shadowsinger, a hundred percent, but that part entwined with my power… It heightened its abilities ten fold… You can become shadows and darkness, you can open gates to other realms, and you can do wondrous things with it." He shook me a little so I could hold his gaze, "You can cross to my world, you can see my Kingdom, and you can access my armies… Whatever you wish, I shall grant it to you, Viviana." Seeing that wild desire in his eyes I knew he was a maniac who had sick ideas and wants.

So I shook off his grip and stood, turning away from the kneeling King. "As much as it sounds intriguing, King, it shall be a no," I said, my blood had gone so cold I couldn't feel my body. That much power in me… So much of it had gone off the leash in the past few weeks. And now that I had stirred the King awake… Gods above, what could he do now that I had finally acknowledged his presence?

His presence made me turn, his shadowed face now twisted in a merciless expression, his grin nothing but insanity, "Do not fear it, welcome that power with an embrace, Viviana. I'd hate it for it to just consume you." His had moved to cup my cheek; this time I had no control over my body. What was it with me getting caught in shit like this? "You are too beautiful and just clocking over sixty… And aren't you just a child in the Fae world? Hm… Immortal blood can do such amazing things, keeping the physical body forever youthful… You looking so young always gets me, nineteen looking… You could fool anyone, a careless young woman who secretly is a feisty beast that could kill with a blink of her eye." I was no beast and no killer so I slapped his hand away from my face.

"I am neither of those things. I'm…" What was I? What was I to others? A person in their midst? Just a thing to fill in the useless gaps?

'No, you never will be anything, Viviana. You mean something to me, you just don't see it. I hope so one day, I'll be here still.' That familiar voice brought a tingly sensation along my arms, a touch I had somehow known so well.

The King seemed to narrow his eyes at me before he looked around in the dark chamber as if trying to find the source of that voice. "Who was that?" He asked, his back to me. "I have no idea," I replied coolly. The voice had left a trail of light that I could see in front of me, the King saw it as well.

"Hnn…" He walked over to it and placed a hand on it then cried out as his hand burst into flames and he stumbled back trying to fend off the fire that started to consume him. "Fire!" He yelled whirling to me, 'Come, Viviana, run. Run to me.' That voice urged and I found my legs move to that strand of pulsating light. "You trickster, you bitch!" The King howled as he dashed for me, "I will not let you escape, I will not let you!" But because the flames had eaten his arm and depleted him, his body flickers as if the light was about to go out. He was too slow to grab me as I latched on to the light.

A roar, much like a wolf, chased me as I was dragged upwards to a blinding light. "You will regret this!" His voice floated after me and then everything fell away from me as I was now surrounded by beautiful flames, dancing and swirling around me and then I gasped and woke up.

All sensations, sounds, smells, tackled me and I was dead still on the soft bed before I recognised a face peering down at me. But it was not who I hoped it is.

Violet eyes twinkled with mild amusement then another pair, grey-blue eyes held wonder and slight fear. I blinked and shifted back, wondering why the hell Feyre and Rhys was here.

But then I took in the grand room, stoned walls with Night Court type furniture strewn about. Even the bed, the sheets silken and like the night sky, little-woven stars peppered the thick duvet. The bed was massive and made for wings, like mine back at home. It had four posts with the curtains tied back. To the very far left, was an open balcony, again, magic keeps the coldness out and the warmth in.

"You seem to be fighting with whatever you were dreaming about." Rhys drawled beside me, he lounged back in a chair holding a glass what smelt like alcohol. He wore his usual attire, a jacket with embroidered silver edgings and a dark shirt and matching pants. Feyre stood there with a tray of steaming tea. She wore just pants and a loose fitting peach jumper. Her golden brown hair unbound and flowed to her waist, she had allowed it to grow out and it suited her. "Dream? It felt more real than a dream…" I could still hear the Kings cries, a shudder ran through me. "Yes. You were crying the one moment then you were struggling with the sheets. I was to wake you with this…" She held the tray before it just disappeared, "Seems like I don't, now that you are awake." She sat on the bed, hands clasped in her lap.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, being in that dream felt like an entire lifetime had passed. "It's still the same day, only two hours before midnight," Rhys replied, sitting up a little and finishing his drink. "Really? Wow, feels like it's been days." I rubbed my head a little and then wondered where Lucien was, so I asked, "Where's Lucien?"

"He has left." Feyre replied before Rhys could, "About three hours ago, back to the Spring Court." I frowned, my shoulders sagging a little. "Oh," I said dolefully, picking at the seam along the duvet, "I wanted to see him again, to see how he was," I remembered him looking pale before he had taken me here, and he had seemed to be a little shaky. "He's fine, he stayed here for a while before some issue got him to leave. Which reminds me…" Rhys pulled out a letter from his jacket, handing it to me, "He sent this not too long ago. I promise you I have not read it." Holding the paper in my hand, it felt thick.

I examined the red seal, taking Rhys' words before I broke it. A second letter had fallen out and looked a bit older and worn out, I set it aside and opened the first one and looked up at Feyre, "You can read it to yourself if you wish."

I nodded and read out aloud instead, "Dear Vi," My heart gave a little jump and my skin tingled in a good way, "I am sorry I had to leave, I wish I could've stayed with you until you woke. It unnerved me when you looked so still as if the Mother had finally claimed you. Once you get this, please write back to me so it can ease my thoughts that you are well." I blushed darkly at his words, feeling the utmost fear and worry coming from the words he had written so beautifully. I continued, "Though, this letter holds another important matter. Not too long ago, Elain had come in holding a letter with your name on it. I apologise in advance but I did read it, and could not believe what it was. Enclosed I sent the letter to you, your sister Azariah written explaining why she ran away." It ended and I set the paper down slowly.

I looked at the worn out paper and took it in my hands as if it was the most precious thing in the entire world. Opening it, it was not even half a page. I took in a deep breath, readying myself before I started, "Viviana. I am deeply sorry for leaving in such a hurry and not explaining why. I want you to know that I am safe and I am well. Please, please don't come looking for me I am very satisfied where I live and the man I am with… It's everything I could ask for. Tamlin has provided me with everything I want," Feyre had gone still, her eyes shadowed as she watched me. Rhys had even become much more alert, but I did not care. What Azariah had said… I continued, my voice shaking, "All my needs are fulfilled to the brim. I think I am the happiest person ever, thanks to him. And before I end this, tell Devyn I am sorry I had left him. Tell him I'll come see him soon, once you stop your crazed hunt for me. And even if you do find me, I will not go home no matter what you do." And that was it; it ended with her name at the bottom of the page.

"Tamlin," I said slowly, the name ringing a bell, "He's the one that had conspired with the King half a century ago, is that correct?" Feyre nodded. I looked back at the letter, feeling the words but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "And he shouldn't be in the city, either. I must-" Rhys was cut off with a wave of Feyre's hand. "I don't think he can even come here. You know he is banished and is left to live out his days alone somewhere in the deepest part of the Spring Court." Feyre looked at me, "What do you make of this?"

I mulled over ideas and reasons to why, worrying my lip I folded the paper and set it on the bedside table. "I have a feeling she met him outside of Velaris. Maybe not in your Court but…" I trailed off, thinking carefully, "I know some of her friends are able to winnow great distances. And she does tend to visit the other Courts sometimes, and attend their parties. So, whatever major event that had happened the last was probably when she met him." I concluded.

Feyre and Rhys stared at each other, their silent communication flowing between them. I looked away, staring out at the night sky I could see. The letter was unkind, the disregard she had for me… Like a string had detached from me, I laughed. Not a single emotion behind it as I shook my head, "Viviana?" Feyre's concerned voice made me raise my head to look at her, "What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm just… I don't know, really. Everything I have done for her, to make her comfortable… What a presumptuous little bitch she is. Devyn is definitely not going to like this, he's going to most likely beg me to get her back or find her himself." I said, giggles still coming from me.

"Would you like us to find her?" Rhys asked, looking as if he would. "No," I said, smiling, "No. No, she can stay. I don't care now. If she finds comfort in him, so be it. If he gives her what she wants, so be it. If she loves him, so be it. She's old enough now, her life, her choice. But, I'd like to send a message to her. I know roughly where she is." I looked at Rhys, sadness flickered his eyes but a tray with papers and a quill appeared.

I took it and stared at the paper, "Are you sure you wish to do this?" Feyre said, "You might regret it afterwards. Maybe sleep on it, make a decision in the morning." But I already made a decision, and I was ready. "I am very sure, Feyre. If she has the audacity to do this… I will not stop it." So I wrote the letter and sent it off to her hoping she would care to actually read it.

"I don't want to sound rude… but, um, can I be left alone?" I felt dead inside, empty to say the least. Rhys nodded, "See you in the morning then." He said before he headed to the door. Feyre came closer and placed a hand over mine, "Don't think that what you've done was a waste, Viviana. You've done amazing things despite what has happened, even today the events that unfolded… Some Fae would've curled up and allowed the horror eat them away." She gave me an encouraging smile, "Look at the positives, you've kept Az and Devyn alive."

"Thank you." I smiled at her as she removed her hand and stood, "You're most welcome. We'll talk in the morning." With that, she left and I was alone to my own devices. The tray still had a piece of paper and I decided why not try and send a letter to the High Lord, I did recognise his scent so maybe that could help with the delivery. I scribbled a quick thank you and appreciation of his worry over me before the paper turned to ash and was blown away by some silent wind. I got out of bed and headed to the balcony, ignoring the chill of the night against my bare legs and bare arms.

"Purple looks nice on you." I jumped at the voice of Nate. I turned to see he was leaning against the wall in the shadows. Nate had taken a more comfort look rather than his warrior attire he usually waltzed around in. A loose shirt tucked in leather pants, which revealed those muscular legs. I pulled my gaze back up to meet his eyes, sea-green eyes bright under the illumination of the lamps hanging on the balcony rail. The light brought out the bronze tone of his skin and the gold highlights in his thick, windswept hair.

"Oh, thank you," I said, looking down at the knee-length nightdress, the hem had lace right along with it and matched the neckline as well. Nate came closer now; I could feel the heat coming from him. He reached up to touch my cheek, where the Fae had dragged the blade down; he followed it to the neckline of the dress with his finger. The touch was oddly… Gentle, but it brought up the feeling of the sharp, stinging pain.

Nate pulled his hand back, seemingly noticing my pent up state. "Sorry, I just… Can't believe that thing did this to you. You couldn't fight back?" He asked as I turned to stare out towards Velaris. Low cloud obscured the view but I could still see the gold lights, "No. It was like… He prevented me, an invisible hand holding my body down." I closed my eyes tightly, feeling those icky hands touching my skin. I let out a shuddering breath, "Before you all came… He was… He ripped apart my jumper, sat between my legs… He was asking me whether you had taken me yet and he seemed so delighted you didn't…" The flash of his eyes danced before my eyelids, the livid need and sick lust, and I knew what he wanted to do. Nate had gone dead still, eyes trained on the clouds before us, "He was… Going to rape me Nate… He was going to fuck me… But in a painful way… I could see it in his body, the way he looked at me. Gods, I can't even imagine-" Nate had touched my shoulder so I could look at him.

But instead, I quickly moved away, "Don't touch me," I said, eyes wide with horror. "Don't touch me like that." And remembering what Nate had said a week or so ago… A choke or a gasp came from me, and a wave of nausea caused me to double over. I hugged my stomach as a lightning pain shot through me until I started to cough.

And coughed.

And coughed.

A metallic taste made me open my eyes to see I had vomited… Blood. So much of it and I retched again, more blood dripping from my mouth. "I did say you would regret this." The King's voice sounded through my mind, his laughter following after it. Nate was yelling and holding me upright otherwise, I'd have landed on my side.

Then everything… Stopped. Like a barrier was thrown up and all the nastiness was sucked out of me. I leant heavily against Nate who was yelling still until Feyre had reappeared, looking dishevelled with Rhys behind her who was hastily buttoning up his shirt.

"What happened?" She knelt down and lifted up my face, examining it. I could only see blur through my half closed eyes. The coughing had knocked the breath out of me. "I don't know, we were just talking and she suddenly fell and coughed up blood." Which was now gone, even the splash back on me.

"Viviana, look at me." She gave me a gentle tap on the cheek to. "Come, we must take her to a healer, she looks pale." I grabbed her arm quickly before she stood, she paused, "N-No… I just need… Water." I gasped, my throat dry.

"You do not look well-" I cut her off again, "Water. That's all I need." I said a little harsher. But Feyre nodded tight-lipped and a glass of water had appeared in her hand, I took it from her and drank.

I don't know how many but my body seemed to recover, the feeling of throwing up eased once I was back in bed. Warm and safe, for now, at least. Nate gave thanks to them, Feyre a little less inclined to leave only a tug from Rhys set her moving.

I rested on my side, facing towards the balcony, Nate settled in the empty spot beside me. He held out one arm to indicate I could get closer, which I did and sighed softly and somewhat grateful for that arm gently placed over my hip. He made small shapes along the small of my back, which lulled me into a sleepy state.

As much as I didn't want him to touch me, I couldn't bring myself to argue with him. It was a while since I slept with him, in bed and this close. But right now, time to sleep. And I prayed to the Cauldron I would not be trapped in that dark chamber with the smirking King.

* * *

No dark chamber, no red eyes, no King. As if that barrier had kept him out, whatever it was I sent my thanks as I woke to feel a bit drained. "Good morning, Silvy." A heavy, sleepy voice rumbled through me and I looked up to see Nate gazing down at me with a lopsided smile. "Mmm," I murmured, snuggling into his chest, "Morning." His fingers idly drew circles near my hip, my body arching into him a bit.

"How was your sleep?" He asked, nuzzling my nose so he could plant a kiss on my lips, "Fine." I replied and instantly lost myself into the deep kiss he started. He pulled me on top of him, his hands resting on my waist and my fingers entangled in his hair. His tongue delved into my mouth, rolling over mine and rubbing against the walls of my mouth.

A thing, he'd do, to indicate what it could do to other places. A small noise came from me, he replied with his hands going beneath my nightdress. Those hands were like fire against my cold skin, the want of being touched rose.

And was followed by something I did not expect.

The feeling of being tied down, my little body broken and beaten and bleeding in places I didn't think should bleed. Not by force, in a matter of fact. A damp cloth obscured my vision; the smell of mould and moisture in the air did not help either. Then I heard the low, male laughter that made my body jolt with fear. And then pain exploded between my legs-

I gasped and broke away from Nate, his hands dropping from beneath my nightdress as he sat up. "What's wrong?" He grabbed my wrists to pull them away from my face but I just cried out and slapped him across the face before I scrambled off the bed and onto the floor.

I was sobbing and shaking, dragging myself slowly away from the bed. It groaned at Nate's weight as he sat at the edge, I could feel his scrutinising gaze on my bare back. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in an edged tone.

I didn't answer him, I couldn't. The pain lingered between my legs, from the feeling of his heat that was still evident in his pants. "I asked you something," he stood and made for me, "Answer me." His voice was devoid of anything, cold, chilling terror was the only thing that laced it. I made a sound like a cry and a sob as I held my arm up in defence, to keep him away and his outstretched hand.

He snorted and shook his head, "Why do I…" He turned around then spotted something on the bedside table. His frown turned to something I could not explain, a mixture of maybe of anger and dislike.

I saw my name written so delicately on the paper, the other side had the seal of the Spring Court. In one swift movement, the seal broke and Nate read the contents within. His face became shadowed and unreadable. My heart was thundering in my chest as I slowly go to my feet, holding the backrest of the chair.

"What is this?" He waved the paper in the air and then shoved it to me. I took it with a shaky hand and read it, I fought back a blush. Lucien had written how he sensed my panic and the pain and wanted to know if I was fine and that… That I was welcomed to visit him whenever I wished or if I got lonely. "Just a letter, Nate. Someone being concerned for my well being." I knew arguing with Nate was toeing the line, and right now seeing that silent anger in his eyes, I wasn't sure if I had crossed it or not.

"Am I not looking after it enough?" He said it with enough bite it made me wince. "We are not having this argument again, Nate," I said sternly, and as strong as I could muster. I turned away from him to go to the giant armoire only to be grabbed and yanked back roughly.

I yelped at the pain as I stared into his eyes, "Am I not good enough for you?" He asked gently, yet his grip stayed like iron. "I don't want to argue with you-" I tried to twist out of his grip; he shook me to keep still. "Answer the damn question, Silvy." His eyes had gone darker, nothing seemed… Normal about him. "You are barely around, Nate." I started, "You get easily annoyed if I am mildly interested in something you are not."

"What of all the times I soothed you when you had nightmares?" He shot back. "That's one thing. But when you call for help and I accept it you get mad and try to chase that person off. Make up your mind." Again I tried to pull away, no use.

"That's because you allow them to touch you, to let them hold you." This was getting out of hand and I again tried to pry his hand off. "There's a difference from hugging someone who you know as a friend and their tits being touched in an arousal manner." I snarled at him, holding his intense gaze.

"Of course, when his hands were placed conveniently before your own. I saw you two, tangled in each other, touching, only mere inches away from kissing." He finished with a pain filled whisper, "What is it that he makes you smile? You don't smile like that when I'm around." He took my face in his hands, to rough for my liking.

"You are too overpowering Nate… You are too forceful." I replied equally quiet, seeing the tears threatening to fall down his face. "You… You scare me sometimes. Honestly." I said and his hands instantly loosened from my face before he fell on his knees. He gripped my hips and looked up at me, his eyes bright with anguish, his wings dropping to the floor.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" His voice cracked as silent tears fell down those tanned cheeks, "You don't listen. And I'm… Afraid you might snap at me, hurt me like you sometimes do." I rubbed my wrist where a red welt was, holding it to my chest.

"Oh, gods… I'm so sorry Silvy… I'm so sorry…" He pressed his face into my stomach, crying as he held onto me. "Please forgive me… Please… I'll do anything to win your heart back… Anything." Begging. That's what he was doing, begging for me.

And it broke me a little, seeing him so desperate and small. I reached down to run my fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his gazing face. "I'll start forgiving you when you clean up your act. When you stop being so tenacious when I am around others. You need to trust in me, and when you do that, then I'll forgive you." I said and he nodded wildly as if each word I had said was something ethereal to him.

He stood and leant in to kiss me, I backed up, "Not yet. I'm still angry at you for overreacting." He frowned, "But you can give me a kiss on the cheek." I quickly recovered and he instantly did so, "Better than nothing. Can I at least help you dress?" He asked. I mulled over it and shrugged a little, "Fine. But no touching in an arousal manner." I ordered as I opened the armoire to find five dresses all so elegant and Night Court like.

A note had been left by Feyre, 'Keep these, as much as you will say no. It's a gift.' They all were made to my taste, modest and not too much clingy material. I pulled out the one with dark grey colour; velvet material created intricate patterns from the hem of the gown and stopped beneath where the bodice was. Nate unbuttoned the buttons on the back and I stripped and got into the gown. The sleeves, that came off the shoulder, opened up at my wrists and loosely flowed past my fingers. The rest of the gowns simply disappeared, as if accepting this gown was accepting her gift.

"Looks really nice on you," Nate said behind me as he buttoned the gown back up. I touched the beading along the neckline that cut across just beneath my collarbones. "Thank you." I looked at myself in the mirror as I combed my hair. Once done we both headed up to the main room where the socialising, training and other things happened.

Entering it, I was surrounded by the sounds of swords clashing and mocking laughter. Feyre, who was grinning wickedly was tantalising Rhys. Cassian and Azriel kept their faces in pure concentration. Seeing Cassian's wings… I stiffened at the mangled state. It had been healed, but he could no longer use them for flight. I had not known why he kept them, but I figured the process of cutting them off would be… Soul breaking.

I looked away just as Rhys was knocked onto his ass, Feyre beaming with triumphant, "Two points to me, Rhys zero." He rolled his eyes and looked over at us, getting up. "What a coincidence I get bullied and you two show up." He frowned as Feyre pinched his cheek before kissing him, "Don't be so sad that I hurt your ego, Rhys." He couldn't help but chuckle as Feyre made a gesture for Nate to have a turn.

He kissed my head before he walked to the High Lord before he started his sparring. Feyre grabbed a towel nearby as we made our way to the couches. "Breakfast will be served soon after the men blow off their steam." Feyre lounged back on the couch, spreading across it like a cat.

I had taken an apple from the table and sat in the single seater, holding the fruit in my lap. I watched in silent admiration at the four of them, all created by strength and long-term hardships in the camps. "So… brutal." I murmured as I jumped a little from Cassian's sword clashing with Azriel's, terrifyingly close to his neck.

"But they are the best when fighting." I looked back at Feyre, her eyes trained on Rhys' bare upper torso. Lingering desire in her eyes told me what she was up to last night. "Will I have to fight like that?" I asked, bringing her attention back. "I had to, Cassian taught me. The basic moves before we added on and on until I was perfectly skilled."

A grunt then Azriel fell to the ground, the point of the sword angled towards his neck. I gasped softly as I stared back at the apple in my hands, "I don't think I'll be able to handle it." I admitted softly, "The… training. I don't even think I could bring myself to kill someone. I get sad if I step on a flower." I looked at my hands, slender and soft palms, not made to wield a sword.

"It's not a matter of learning to kill Viviana. It's a matter of learning how to control, how to defend yourself from harm," I looked into her eyes, seeing the truth behind them, seeing the pain and hell she had gone through and how the skills she got had helped her to survive. "Learn how to keep yourself safe and others. You know that." She finished, I knew what she meant. As much as I wanted to yell at her, to not accuse of my lack of dominion over my magic… She was correct. I had always denied my weakness, scared for people to look down upon me.

"While you were dreaming, you released an immense amount of power. I felt it press around me… I had almost passed out. Especially Az, he looked shaken up and his shadows seemed wild." The apple did not look appealing to me anymore but I still held onto it, the chill of the King's grip making me tremble a little. "You are powerful, very much so. You just need to master it, not let it go off the leash. Azriel is still very much keen on helping you, and with the events lately…" Feyre waited for my response, her grey-blue eyes ever so slightly wandering back to Rhys.

The boys still fought, and now with the new sense of eagerness that filled me, the fighting no longer looked scary. Control. That was all I ever wanted, to keep this blasted power down instead of boiling over.

"Okay," I said, nodding. "Okay, what?" She repeated, slightly puzzled. "Okay to the training. I want to do it, I want to learn to fight." Feyre's eyebrows rose, shock mixed with excitement was expressed, "Oh? Have I finally convinced you?" I nodded in response, and before I could say anything else a letter appeared on the coffee table.

"Have you figured how to send a letter to Lucien?" Feyre smirked lightly as she took it and handed it to me. I blushed brightly as I opened it, reading the contents:

 _Dear Vi,_

 _I'm guessing you are well right now; you don't seem to be panicking or fighting. Or dead. I feel you might be busy as of now which is why I have not received a letter from you._

 _It has taken a lot of courage and will to send this particular letter and Elain watching me write this._

 _Tonight, I beg the Cauldron you are not busy, I'd like you to come to the Spring Court and dine with me just after sundown. If you must, you are welcome to stay the night._

 _Please, it would be a pleasure to dine with a beautiful woman such as yourself._

 _Lucien._

Beautiful woman. I reread it again, just that line, over and over. My face grew hotter every time as I folded it up quickly. "What did he say?" Feyre asked, resting her cheek on her fist. I gulped a little, "He um… He asked for me to have dinner with him tonight."

"I didn't think a simple dinner would make a woman go red. Unless he means something else." I snorted as I shook my head, staying red-faced, "No! Feyre!" I cried, embarrassed at her words. She laughed at my bashful state, "I am only teasing." She couldn't contain her giggles, smile still wide. But it soon softened as she said, "You should go. He doesn't get many guests or makes a lot of friends, and he needs a bit of a break from doing so many paperwork."

I looked over at Nate, now sparring with Cassian. I had given him a chance to repent for his attitude and actions to me, and now, Lucien subtly begging me to dine with him… I couldn't. As much as my heart tightened at the fact I was going to decline- "It's just a dinner, Viviana. You also need a bit of luxury after what has happened."

"But, I promised Nate I was going to allow him to fix himself up," I replied, feeling a little jittery. "You can do that, that's fine. But you and Lucien are just friends, having dinner together. It should not bother him." Feyre told me, sitting up now. The boys began to finish their training for this morning, "I guess you are right." I said as we both stood.

"If you are that worried, I can talk to him, if you want." I declined, saying, "No, I'll tell him myself." She only nodded as we headed to the table, now suddenly filled with food. Morrigan had appeared, looking bright and cheerful as she sat across from Az, a small smile on his face.

"Good morning." She beamed as replies followed after. "How is the planning going?" Rhys asked beside Feyre, "Very good. Almost done." She replied, digging in already.

"One month to go." Rhys murmured beside Feyre's ear, she kicked him beneath the table. I lightly laughed as I filled my plate. "I also overheard you two speaking about someone training." Rhys looked gleeful, "I'm proud you accepted. We start tomorrow morning, then." I slightly gawked at him, "Already?" I asked, Nate's hand was atop mine.

"Of course, unless you wish to start today?" He suggested. "No! No, tomorrow will be fine." Rhys grinned as everyone fell into light conversation. Azriel who was beside me gave me a quick rundown of tomorrow's plans.

"I'm going to be tested?" I asked him, the blue siphons atop his hands flickered. "Yes, I'd like to know what you could do. You are the first Shadowsinger to have such… Unique abilities."

"But I barely know what I can do, save for using my abilities in small amounts such as hearing for long distances or using them to restrain others." I set my fork down, now finished with my plate.

"That's the whole point in this, see what you can do before we establish the main strengths before delving further." Azriel explained, "And while you are learning how to fight with either Cassian or Nate, I'll look into equipping you with siphons." Rhys added after Azriel. Again, the idea of having those stones on me… I could only nod, knowing I had to accept this. No going back now, I thought.

Breakfast ended on a nice note, I bid farewell to the Court of Dreams as I was hoisted in Nate's arms, his arm securely holding my wings. "Fly normal please, I'd like my dress to be intact." I said to him and he rolled his eyes, "Don't be such a princess." He huffed before jumping off the edge and gliding downwards towards the waking city.

The gilded sun was now warming the city, chasing away the light fog that coated the city. Shop owners began their ritual of opening cafes and setting out their wares. The Palaces were already buzzing with life, I wondered how Brea was doing without me helping her with the shop.

As Nate landed in front of the estate, I could only feel dread at the thought of explaining to my friends on what happened. I turned to Nate, "I'd like to keep what happened to ourselves. I don't want them to worry too much." I said, taking his hand and lacing my fingers in his. "What do we say then?" He said, holding my hand tightly.

"We say we just decided to go and visit Feyre and Rhys, to see if they had any more information on Azariah and that we stayed the night because… We had to wait for the information." I did not like lying to my friends; we based our relationships on trust and utmost love. We all had issues from the past that still haunted us, and I was lucky enough to be accepted by them when I first came here.

Nate then said, "What did happen to your sister?" We started to walk up the pathway to the doors, "It'll be explained when I get inside." I simply said.

Opening the grand doors and stepping inside, warmth cuddled me instantly. I could hear voices coming from the dining room and then the voices hushed until someone came to the door and opened them. Nishka's face peered through the doors, a suspicious expression turned to joy as she flung them right open and made for me. "Vivie!" She squealed and hugged me very tightly.

I was being crushed by her, and being shaken about. She finally let me go, "Oh, Mother! Where have you been?" She took my hands in hers as she stared wide-eyed at me. "Let's go sit, I'll explain to everyone there." She took my hand and dragged me to the room, Nate giving me a cheeky grin as I was then forced to sit.

All my friends sat there, staring at me. They all looked… A bit hollow in the face. There eyes dull with… Nothing. "You must explain to us now why you constantly disappear, especially yesterday." Nishka was perched at the edge of her seat, bustling with questions.

"What of Azariah?" Devyn asked, looking deathly pale and black circles under his eyes. He did not look well. I held his gaze, bloodshot from crying mostly. How could I explain? How could I tell him that she was not returning?

"What. Happened. To. Azariah?" Devyn asked more hard, desperation in his voice. "Is she… Is she dead?" Another question when I didn't answer. "No, she's alive." I finally said, "Alive and well." His eyes narrowed down at me, "Where the hell is she then? Explain, Viviana, explain."

So I did. I explained to him about the letter she had sent to me, and what I had said back. "Give me this letter." Was his demand. Nate had taken the letter this morning and handed it to him. Devyn read over the words.

"And you didn't console in me to whether I wanted her back? Why must it all evolve around you? You are to get her back. This instant." He threw the letter down, glaring at me. Devyn never usually gave commands or anything at all. Seeing him now, this wild, broken young man, I regretted somewhat my decision.

No, it was Azariah's decision; I was simply following what she wanted. "That cannot happen," I said and Devyn stood up, the chair screaming against the wooden floor. "Oh yes, it will! I want her back! I want her back!"

This time it was I that stood, throwing back equal anger, "I will not! She does not want to come back, have you not read what she said?"

"Yes I have, and I don't give a shit what she says. She lives here, she belongs here, she does not belong to some fucking traitor in the forest. She belongs to me." Devyn roared, and I saw that similar darkness flash in his eyes, one I knew who it belonged to.

My hands, now in fists, trembled with the power that woke up again, the darkness that flowed in my veins called for me to destroy. To seek revenge. To seek utter chaos. To claim. The air in the room became heavy, and my friends seemed to have a hard time getting out of their chairs. They all sank to the floors, crawling away from Devyn and me.

"While you were out, wasting time as Azariah cowers in that man's arms, I have… Unlocked something. Something given to me." Pure shadows licked at his throat, his arms, his chest. His entire body. My very own did the same, but created a shield around me, sensing the shift in Devyn.

"Terrifying at first, but a voice told me I had such great powers. Unlike anything. And told me to welcome it."

'Do not fear it, welcome that power with an embrace, Viviana.' And that's when I started to move; I jumped over the table and tackled Devyn to the ground as much as it was awkward in a gown. We tumbled and we fought, animal-like snarl ripped through our throats as he slashed across my face, slicing my skin.

Blood, black blood, coloured the tips of his fingers. He stared at it and I used that distraction to 'jump' into his mind. I threw all my strength at the source of the darkness that tainted him; the King's cry was snuffed out as I used that flame in me to create a barrier around Devyn's mind.

And when I came back out he was asleep, no longer that crazy beast he was. The weight of the magic in the room subsided and everyone stood and silently stared at me. No one moved a muscle, no dared to make a move to me.

My shadows still lingered around me and with a silent command they left. Rahuel was the one to make a move, he showed no fear but did not make eye contact with me as I got of Devyn and he picked him up with ease.

Nate was dead still, his face leaked of colour. I slowly stood, and the dark twins stepped away from me. Even Raella. And Nishka, and Aida. 'You haven't told them, have you?' The King's voice crooned in the dark corners of my head.

They just stared at me as if I was a… 'Monster.' The King finished for me. I backed up before I left the room, so quickly I didn't notice I was in my room sobbing in the adjoining bathroom. My gown was in ruins, rips and tears. What a waste, what a waste of gown for a monster like me.

Nate didn't come to my room after that.

* * *

I still got ready for the dinner with Lucien. Still, no one came to my room. I was glad as I slipped on the gown. It was like the grey gown I wore, instead, it was midnight blue. It had a plunging V neckline with an illusion like material that held it together. Again, the gown did not hug my body but fell past my waist to the floor. Draping from the straps and down my arm was a soft transparent material much like chiffon. The entire piece had pearls and diamonds sewn to look like flowers and vines.

A soft knock came at my door and I stilled, "Yes?" I called. "It's me," Brea's voice answered as she came in and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing?" She asked me instead of 'how are you'. I answered flatly, "Getting ready."

"For what?" She came closer, "Dinner." Brea went silent. "Viviana-" she started, that hint of affliction, "Don't start. If you didn't stare at me like I was some freak, I'd allow you to speak. Don't come in here and apologise. I should've said something, yes I know. But why should I when it wasn't really affecting me then? You all had your own problems to deal with, why should I bother you all with more shit." I snapped, the candle on my table flickered as my anger rose again.

"You didn't look at me, though." She said quietly, but there was no scrutiny or anything evident in her tone. "You looked at the rest of them, and when you left I told them all off for reacting in such manner. I told them what kind of friend's stares at their own friend with such horror. I told them they are to apologise to you, to accept everything that makes you no matter what." Brea had come behind me to finish the lace of my bodice; she then sat me down on the chair and began to make my hair look pretty.

"No, you should not ask them to apologise to me. They should do it themselves." Brea had finished with the half up and the half down style, soft curls sitting just above my shoulders. I looked at the empty spot at the hollow of my throat, wanting the comfort of my mother's necklace.

Brea applied very little makeup, keeping it all natural. She tried to hide the harsh scar now bright pink on my pale cheek. Once done I stood and she helped me with the matching coloured floor-length cloak. My wings sat snugly beneath it; to strangers, they would not know I had them.

"How is Devyn?" I finally asked as we made to the foyer. "Sleeping. Looks much better than last night." I knew Brea wanted to ask what truly happened but she stayed silent as I stopped atop the stairs. Below were my friends, looking a little helpless and distraught.

I scowled but Brea nudged me in the arm, "No. I am true to my words. Show me that you are truly sorry, and then I shall explain my reasons for hiding my magic. I am sick of people stepping over me once they see my other side." With that, I walked down the stairs and brushed past them ignoring their stares.

Brea helplessly followed, took my arm and we were gone. She winnowed me right in the front glass doors of the Spring Court's manor. A male servant was waiting there, smiling softly at me. I turned to Brea who still looked deeply saddened, "I'll see you whenever." I said and she gave me a gentle hug before she was gone.

"My Lady," The servant called and I turned to him, "Come, and let me take you inside." I followed the Fae into the… I was at a loss for the manor. I had not been here, but Feyre had explained to me that Elain had turned the place completely different. The walls had creeping plants with sprouting flowers of all sorts, the sweeping staircase that leads to the second level had more of the green flora clinging to the balustrade.

The paintings, mostly done by Feyre, were lined with flowers. Flowers, flowers, flowers. But with the enormous amount, my senses were not attacked by the smells. Only a gentle wave. The servant brought me through open double doors. The room was a study, or an open plan one. The walls beside the doors I walked through were lined with bookshelves stuffed with old tomes. A large desk sat in the middle with a high back chair. I could see papers that littered the desk but was neatly sorted.

Behind that desk, three open arches, with glass windows that lined the rest of the room, that lead to an open patio that dropped off into the gardens. And in the middle of the patio was a large table enough for four people to sit at only it had two.

A large candelabra sat in the middle, the glowing candles bright in the growing dark. The male servant had left me standing before the table, no food was atop it. I made for the chair but a voice stopped me, "Hold on, isn't it supposed to be the male to who pulls out a chair for the woman?" I turned to see Lucien standing in the middle archway, leaning against the stone pillar.

He wore a dark chocolate brown velvet jacket, with gold seams lining the edgings of the collar and the turned up sleeves. The silver buttons gleamed in the candlelight as he made his way down. A deep blood red scarf was tucked in beneath his jacket. That thick red hair was pulled back and held with what looked like a clip, a few strands sticking out.

"Aren't you hot?" I blurted as he stood before me, his eye roaming my body and a delightful expression broke that smirking face. "Indeed I am, thank you for noticing." He gave me a wink as I went red. I did not mean it in that manner but… He did look good. I gasped softly as he unbuckled the clip from my cloak and pulled it off my shoulders, I was grateful for it as the warmth of spring was making me feel sticky.

"Aren't you hot." He copied me, butterflies started in my stomach. He then went to pull out the chair and I sat before he unbuttoned his jacket and pulled off his scarf. "Phew, I was slowly dying beneath that." Beneath the jacket, he wore a matching tunic and a simple white shirt. "You should've just gone like that, looks nice enough," I said, my glass filling itself up in a bubbly, ivory liquid.

"As much as it can be an inconvenience, I like to look good." He gave me a flash of a grin. I rolled my eyes, "Are you sure it's not to impress the ladies?" I remembered his words about his hands and what he could do with them, a scowl slowly appearing.

"Have I not impressed you?" He asked, his smile never faltering. "Maybe. I'm still mad at that comment you made back at your private room. You have a lot of work to do, buddy." He gave a sharp laugh as he sipped at his drink and sat back in his chair.

He looked… so not like a High Lord. Lounging back with an ankle of his knee, his shirt open a bit to expose his chest… And with that snarky attitude he was very relaxed and carefree. I had to ask, "Isn't being a High Lord supposed to be… a serious thing? I mean, you have to look after a Court and make sure things are right. Especially since the Spring Court is so…"

"Broken? Yes, it is a serious thing as you call it. Even the War being long behind us, there is things still needed to be fixed. Do you want me to be serious?" He gave me his best, impassive look. "No, I'm just… I've just heard other High Lords being stiff-backed and jumpy at everything thing." I turned the glass around; worried I may say something to offend him. I was still in a bit of a daze from today's events, still muddling over it all.

"I figured. Some have become weary with each other, especially towards me as I took the spot of High Lord under… Strange circumstances. Tamlin had taken off once Feyre had exploited him and destroyed his connection to the King before she and Rhys controlled the Court for some time before handing it to me. They said they knew my ideas and my wishes of a uniting Court, but it's hard with having so little people left to unite. Most are in hiding still." I listened intently to his story, watching the fear, then to pain, then to anger flash across his face.

I did not know much about what happened before the War, only a few snippets. I knew for a fact Tamlin had become… domineering and controlling. And I knew that he had hurt Lucien and Feyre in some way, but I would not ask them what.

The air between us grew a bit tight; the light chirping of the night insects could be heard. "Anyways," he started, setting his glass down and sitting up straight, "Let's start dinner." With that, the table was filled with delicious food. Roast seasoned to perfection, vegetables cooked to my liking, another assortment of well-cooked meats… Gods, I was having a hard time to choose what to take first. I wanted to eat it all.

I looked at Lucien who looked right back at me; "Go ahead," he said, hearing my thoughts, "Eat as much as you can." I hesitated a little, "Oh come on. I saw you scoff down that breakfast. What's the difference?"

"It's rude for a woman to eat herself silly," I said, taking some of the roast and small pieces of the rest of the dishes. "Says the one that has practically taken each thing from each dish." He eyed my colourful plate, a quizzical look. "In moderation. I understand there will be dessert after this, so I'd like to make room."

Lucien rolled his eyes, "I didn't think you'd be so fussy about dessert. Besides, am I not delectable enough? I thought I was the last treat to soothe your sweet mouth." I choked and dropped my fork as my cheeks heated instantly. Oh, what a smooth, little bastard was he. I tried to glare at him, to be mad in a way. But his words sent every part of me screaming for attention, yet another part of me told I should not flirt with him.

I shifted in my seat, my legs closing a little. His head tilted slightly, and I swear he sniffed the air and his remaining eye pinned me. The embers flickered and flames sprouted, letting this comforting warmth spread through my veins and every aching spot.

"You are…" I shook my head, pushing back a curl behind my ear; he followed each movement. "I'm what?" He asked his tanned throat bobbing, which I wanted to kiss. I couldn't find a word, so I said, "Devious, little bastard." He flashed me one of his winnings smiled as he dug into his plate.

"You may think I am little, but I know truthfully I am not. Well, in certain places, so to speak." I kept my head down, my face beyond red now. My toes curled in my shoes as I muttered a curse and ate in silence. I had to calm my fleeting emotions, settle the galloping beat beneath my ribs. Oh, everything throbbed, every inch of my skin wanted to be caressed by him, by his fingers, his sensuous lips.

After I finally collected myself, I said to move on with the flirting, "How long did it take for you to write that letter? It seems like someone was a little nervous." Lucien snorted swallowing his food and shook his head baffled, "Of course I was not nervous! I wrote it with passion and completely myself! Do not accuse the High Lord of such petty things." He gave a sharp, dramatic sigh with an 'Hmpfh' as he continued to eat.

"Oh, my bad, my Lord. I did not mean to accuse you of such things. It just, it seemed so… Odd for a man like you to write such a lovely letter." I batted my eyes at him innocently, as well as pouting to give my act a bit more realism.

"I know it was lovely because I wrote it. Like I said, I am a delectable piece of man. Everything I do is lovely." He flicked his hair behind his shoulder and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. "Yes, totally. I agree wholeheartedly." I said sarcastically.

"But I mean it! Look at this food, this night, all of it-" As he was sweeping his arm around he knocked the candelabra over and cried out as it broke on the sandy stone. And when he went to grab it, he knocked the table, which caused his drink to spill over his pants. I laughed at his annoyed state, he was frantically dabbing at the now wet spot, which looked like he had pissed himself.

He looked up to retort but he started to also laugh with me, sitting back as the candelabra refixed itself. "Oh dear," I said between giggles, "I don't think I laughed that much before." I wiped away the tears before I finally calmed down.

"To you, it may be funny, but for me now I have to deal with feeling wet. Oh, what a disaster." He made a cute pout as he looked below the table. "Oh quit crying, you laughed as well okay." I stuck my tongue out at him, "Such a child." He snickered.

"You're the bigger child here, whimpering about wetting himself." I shot back.

"You're the one complaining there being no dessert."

"You huffing and puffing about a letter which you so did not write."

"You calling me names."

We stared at each other, fighting for dominance and who'd look away first. He did, and I grinned with vigour, "I win." I giggled and went back to eating. "What a child." He mumbled under his breath.

The dinner had gone very well if I was being honest. We had continued our banter and silly arguments about unnecessary topics. And during that time, I had completely slid into that witty attitude he had and began to like him, greatly. I had managed to finish my plate, taking the napkin and wiping my hands and dabbing my mouth. I finished the bitter yet sweet liquid; I wasn't sure whether it was my wild feelings or my singing blood that made me tingle.

"Now that we are done, shall we go for a walk?" Lucien stood as he pulled on his jacket and scarf. I followed suit, leaving my cloak behind as he leads me down the stairs and into the gardens. He held out his arm and I locked mine around him, I stifled the urge to grip a bit more to feel that hardness beneath the jacket.

We were silent for some time, occupied with our private thoughts. He took me to the fountain, the water gently trickling out of the pots positioned around a narrow cluster of marble flowers. I sat down on the bench, tucking my wings tightly behind me as he leant back, head tipped a little to stare up at the star-flecked sky.

I turned to face him, moving closer and tucking a leg beneath me as I draped one arm on the backrest of the bench. I ran a finger along the worn wood, unsure what to say at this point. Slowly, I let my eyes drift back to him, too… marvel at him. I reached out to him, tucking a strand of hair behind that delicately pointed ear, my thumb gently running down the shell of his ear. He had gone dead still, his eyes closed, as my hand rested on the back of his neck. I rubbed just beneath the hairline, my fingers tangled in his hair.

He finally opened his eyes, to stare at me in a way that the blush crept back on my face. I loved how he stared at me as if I was something… Meaningful. Not some person to ogle and think of dirty thoughts. His arm moved around my waist and pulled me closer, and lifted my legs to rest on his thigh. This was probably the longest I was of being this close to him, to someone who I barely knew. But some secret part of me told this was right, he was right, but I could not tell what this feeling was.

"It gets lonely here sometimes," he started in a soft voice, "Yes I have Elain but she has her own friends and most of them are girls." He looked a little awkward, shy almost and I started to smile. "Do you not have friends in the other Courts?" I asked, my caress still going. "I do, but during the War they had turned their backs on me. Some have returned now but… I barely see them." I recalled Feyre's words about him being alone, and that's what I felt now in some way. Lucien had looked away, struggling with words so I said to encourage him, "You can say it. I won't judge or bash you for it. You can trust me." I now stroked his hair, loving the silky softness.

It took him a minute or so to finally look back at me, "I'd like you to live here. With me. You'd like it here." I blinked at his request, taken aback really. I wasn't sure what to say, I was at a loss. Yes, it would be amazing to be here, away from everyone and not be studied closely as if I was some unknown creature. And then I thought of Nate, and how he'd react to me moving here… And the way he had the blade against Lucien's throat.

I gulped and removed myself from him, moving over a little as I stared ahead along the white-pebbled pathway. Oh, if Lucien was hurt by him… I'd not forgive myself. I turned back to him, "As much as it sounds greatly appealing, Lucien… I don't think I can. And you know my relationship with Nate if I move he comes with me." Dislike crossed his face but was replaced with a frown.

"I see, that's okay." I felt extremely bad, so I reached towards his hand and laced my fingers in his and rested my other hand atop his. "I can still visit you, whenever you wish, I'll come." He gripped tightly but said, "It won't be the same, I won't… I'd… I want to give you things, things you should get all the time instead of the cold shoulder."

It felt like the world stopped at those words. Instead of the cold shoulder. I let go of his hand and stood, I walked ahead before I stumbled and stopped hugging myself. I knew what he meant; I knew the hidden meaning behind those words and it just… I didn't think anyone in the world would fall for me. Or even that quickly.

I turned to see him rise slowly, those gods damned appealing lips parted slightly, his brows furrowed making the scar look more brutal. But it made him all more handsome and beautiful but I couldn't. I couldn't let him into my life, my life was a mess and I had nothing to offer him.

"You don't know me, you don't know anything about me." I rasped, trying to fight back the tears. "It doesn't matter Vi, I know enough to know you are a strong, stunning and courageous woman who has gone through so much in the recent weeks. I know that you care and love others to the point where you will put them first, and I know that some don't return those feelings and just… I want to return them for you." I looked at him through blurred vision, seeing his lean figure move to me and wipe away my tears.

"And I want you to know that even if you don't want it, want me, we can just stay as friends. And I'll wait until you make whatever decision in the future. I'll be ready." He tilted my face up to his, so I could see the trueness to his words. And I felt it inside me as well, through that white pulsating light.

"But why me? Of all the women in the world? You're with Elain, why not her? You know her, she's pretty, she's bubbly, she's-"

"She's not you." Lucien cupped my face, "No one is like you. And you drew me in the day I saw you at that club. You glowed so brightly I thought I had gone blind, and I was instantly eager to know whom this serene woman with wings that captured my entire being. And I understand why, what drew us, it was-"

"No," I shook my head, pulling his hands away from my face, "If I told you what I was, you'd not want to see me anymore." He didn't look convinced, "I doubt it, Vi. It'd take so many lengths to change my views on you."

I looked at him, really looked at him. He looked so damn determined as if he would go to the ends of the world to make me happy. Words began to tumble out of my mouth, I explained to him about yesterday, what the King had said and about the powers I had gotten.

A big weight had lifted off my shoulders and Lucien had taken me back to the bench, carefully sitting me back down. I had some more things to tell him but that would take time, for me to trust him fully to let him that deep into my life. During my talk he had not once disturbed me or looked afraid, his face was set into concentration and calculating each word as if he was trying to piece it all together.

He didn't look at me as if I was a monster.

"Wow." He finally said, sitting back and looking at me from head to toe. "But you can't pinpoint what this so-called King is?" I shook my head, not able to lock eyes with him. "He didn't reveal that much to me. But what I got from him is that he is a sadistic and perverted prick. What he did to my mother… Bed her and got her to birth his children…" I shuddered a little. "And I've been given his power… It makes me feel so disgusted with myself that I share a bit of him in me." I looked at my hands; I could feel that power alive and flowing beneath my skin.

Lucien's hand covered them and held them, bringing my attention to him, "Don't say that. Don't think of him, think of the strength you have. Think of the good you can do, you could possibly heal major wounds, you could save lives. Anything."

"But my power… It's of darkness and evil." Lucien shook his head, his hair falling out of his clip, "If you think that way, it'll become it. Think well; shape it to what you want. That's how all Fae with magical abilities do, they carve their powers to what they like and want it to do. They don't let it control them, they are the master." Lucien removed his hand and held it out before him. Then a fire, of gold's and oranges and reds came to life in his palm.

"I am the master of this flame." He murmured, and I watched with pure delight as it twisted into animals that ran and curled around his fingers before shooting upwards and exploding into glittering embers. It rained down around us, but it did not singe either us.

I met his gaze, feeling that magic burn between us for some reason; the white light became a living flame deep in my soul. A small hint of a smile danced along his lips before I hugged him tightly, burying my face into the crook of his neck. His words had touched a small part of me; giving me that little strength I needed all this time.

"You can deny it as much as you wish, but what you are and what you have will not change my views on you." I pulled back slowly, but he beat me before I could speak, "I will make you see it, I will show you that you are indeed an incredible person."

"Are you trying to make me cry or something?" I ask as I dried my eyes a little. "Is it good tears or bad tears?" He replied with a question of his own. "Who knows." I gave him a little wink before I stood and slipped out of his arms.

"You're being difficult." He mumbled as he stood. I crossed my arms, "Uh huh, sure. I'll stop being difficult when you start doing instead of telling." A sly smile made him copy me, "I hope so. I have something to show you tonight." I raised an eyebrow expectantly as I hooked an arm around his.

"Is it dessert?" I asked, getting a little excited. "Hottest dessert you'll ever see." He grinned. "Stop flattering yourself." I rolled my eyes at him, a chuckle coming from him as we came to the stables. A mottled grey and white stallion were saddled and waiting, it whinnied a little as Lucien came over and rubbed its neck. I waited as Lucien checked the belts and buckles before standing beside the horse.

"Where's mine?" I asked curiously, coming closer. Though the horse was big and I shied a little from it, the stallion had pale grey eyes and seemed to gaze at me longingly. "This one. We will ride on one horse." I blushed and it was his turn to shake his head, "Don't think it in that perspective. Cauldron, is it me or you that has the dirtiest thoughts?" Lucien waved me closer, "It won't be that bad." He knelt down on one knee and clasps his hands together.

"Wh-What? I've never been on a horse… Let alone rode one." I said looking down at him. "I'll teach you. Come, put your foot in the stirrup and hold on to the seat to pull yourself up." He pointed to what I had to do, "Then put your foot in my hands." I did then narrow my eyes at him, "Don't look up my skirt." He looked away as I was hoisted up into the saddle.

I was giggling nervously as he swiftly pulled himself up and sat behind me. "Is this saddle made for two?" I asked, keeping my face ahead as my whole body tensed at him being pressed against my back. "Yes." His tight reply came as his hands rested on my hips. Every part of me cried and yearned for more, and the fact that my gown had a low back… Gods, I had no idea how I was still sane.

"Take the reins, then nudge the horse to make him move." I followed his instructions and yelped a little as the horse moved forward. "Now turn to that gate." His breath tickled my shoulder and I squirmed a little, his hands gripping my waist tighter. "Follow that pathway, you can make the horse go faster." I shook my head, already getting a bit jittery. For some reason, riding a horse was terrifying; I had no idea how to control the beast and the idea of falling off…

"I've got you, Vi, I won't let you fall." That blasted name made me feel things I shouldn't, not when I was with someone. And the flirting, the light banter, oh I would be in deep unending shit if Nate found out if I allowed Lucien to be this close to me. And on top of that, Lucien was… In love with me, I had no idea how to deal with that.

I shifted again in the saddle, a strange sound came from Lucien but instead he said, "I've been meaning to ask something." I waited for him to continue, "The scar on your face, was that only recent?" I turned a bit; Lucien grimaced a bit and was tight-lipped. "Just before I came here, actually. In the afternoon when I came back home from the House of Wind. As I was explaining to everyone about what had happened to Azariah… Devyn had lost it. And he said some words that made me realise what had happened…" I reached up to feel the long scratch marks on my cheek, "I had to fight him but it was doused before it could get any worse. The King had… Snuck into his mind and I guess manipulated him." I turned back to face the front, hearing the nightlife around me.

"How do you know it was him?" Lucien asked softly. "I had gotten into Devyn's head and kicked the King out and made a barrier of flame. I'm unsure if it'll hold on for long, Devyn was pretty… Bad when I saw him."

"Was he close to Azariah?" I nodded, "Very. Their relationship would be seen as… unacceptable." Lucien's only reply was, "Ah."

"I tried to get them to part, to… Stop their activities. But they kept it behind doors which were I guess okay but… I understand why Devyn was so broken. He felt betrayed and used, Azariah leaving to be with that man you and Feyre despise."

"I don't know what's worse, your siblings being together or Azariah being with Tamlin." Disgust and utter hatred laced his tone. I placed one hand atop his, "I don't have the right to ask exactly what he did to you but I have a feeling he did bad things." It wasn't meant to be a question but Lucien replied to me anyways, "Unexplainable things. It'd be a very long story." I squeezed his hand, "Another time, then. Whenever you're ready."

"Let's not ruin the rest of the night, okay? I want this night to be special." He took the reins and got the horse to gallop. I gasped, as I was pressed harder against him, I held on to his arms as I bounced up and down. The tall, ancient trees thinned out until we came to the very top of a hill, below soft knee length grass swayed in the gentle breeze. A meadow dusted with bobbing yellow lights sprawled long and wide, gentle rises here and there.

Lucien got off the horse and held out his hands for me, I swung my leg over and eased myself down into those strong arms. He held me for a bit, my feet just above the ground. I gripped his shoulders as my eyebrows rose, "I'd like to be set down now. Enough of you feeling excited by being pressed against me." He did quickly and went red.

"I didn't think you'd notice." He said as he tied the stallion to a tree. "Oh, I did. Especially when I was bouncing and rubbing against you. It's so easy to tell a man's arousal, maybe you should wear tighter pants." I snickered as he shot me a glance over his shoulder as he took off the saddle. "If you were uncomfortable, why didn't you say anything?" He asked, shame evident in his voice. "We couldn't move anywhere else, what would the point be? I can't tell what your manhood should do, say it's a bad boy?" At least Lucien laughed at that, "It tends to be a bad boy, and mostly around women I like." He replied casually. I growled at him as I looked back out to the meadow, "I'm going to have to clean that mouth of yours." I huffed.

"I'd like you to clean it for me then. With your own, preferably." He said beside me and grabbed my wrist before I could hit him. "It's against the law to hit a High Lord, Viviana. You could get into serious trouble." He crooned as he grabbed my other wrist before it could slap him; I was pressed against a tree. 'Oh Gods… Oh Gods…' I thought, vivid and graphic images of my body tangled with his and being taken on this tree. My body moved before I could stop it and I arched into him, tilting my head to the side as he lowered his lips to my bare skin. It was barely a brush, a mere whisper of a breath but it still sent so many chills down my spine a small noise came from me.

His hands once again found their place on my hips, drawing our bodies closer. My breathing became laboured, faster, louder as his lips continued their travels along my jawline. The heat between my legs ached, throbbing desperately for that growing hardness in his pants to ease it. 'So close… Closer, closer…' A small voice in me chanted. What I was doing, what I was feeling, it was bad, I shouldn't, I couldn't not when I was with Nate. But that light tugged at me, saying this was fine, that this was okay and normal to feel this when-

A sound like a twig snapping got Lucien to pull back quickly, a snarl ripping from him as he looked at the sound. There was a scuttle until a rabbit poked its head out, then pulled back and was gone by the look Lucien gave it. I took this chance to pry his hands off my heated up body, fearing if he looked at me I'd rip his clothing off.

"I'm sorry." He said I kept my eyes trained at his feet. What could I say? It's fine that you almost stripped me? Don't worry about it? Everything will be okay, no worry you almost kissed me? I couldn't answer him, I was worried I might say the wrong thing and hurt him. "Do you want to go back then?"

"No." I said just as quickly he ended the question, "I did not ride that horse for no reason, and besides, you own my dessert." I said, wanting to make light of the situation. A light laugh and he smiled, that strange desire in his eye fading from the puff of air he emitted. "I almost forgot. Come on, it's not too far to walk." He said as he went ahead, I kept to his side but at a comfortable distance.

The wind was like a sigh, making the grass dance gently. I had also noticed something else, the lights that glowed were not light bugs but round figures with tiny eyes and the softest of bell sounds came from them. They parted quickly as we walked through, disappearing among the grass; I seemed to have wandered a little, fascinated by the creatures.

Lucien grasped my arm and pulled me back, "Don't follow them, they will get you lost." He kept hold of me, "I'm not very familiar with your Court. What are they?" I asked as we headed up a slight rise. "Will-O'-Wisps, elemental spirits that usually trick travellers to stray from their pathways." He explained making me bite my lip, "Oh, I see. My bad." I continued to watch the lights, blinking around us until he stopped me atop the hill.

Laid out on the grass was a large blanket made for two people to sit on or lay on, with a basket full of fruits and two bottles of what I knew was to be alcohol. Lucien wandered around then stripped of his jacket and scarf before he groaned and lay back on the blanket. He went so far as taking off his boots and pulling his shirt out. He paused his reaching to the bottle and looked up at me, "Are you going to sit and drink with me or am I going to finish these myself?" He filled a glass and held it out to me. I scrunched up my nose and sat willingly, making myself comfortable before I took the glass now full of some pink liquid. "And here is your dessert," two plates appeared among us, both with a good-sized piece of chocolate cake. "Yes, oh gods yes." Lucien laughed at the way I said it, "I wish you could've said that to me when you saw me tonight." I rolled my eyes as I set my glass down and dug right into the cake.

When I was done, I was very much satisfied. I then picked up my glass and drank the entire thing, the drink instantly spread through my stomach like slow moving snakes making my skin tingle. "Happy?" He said, now just finishing with his own plate. I nodded as he refilled both our glasses, I had a bit of a low tolerance to alcohol and wondered how the night would go if I had a few more glasses. "Shame, I was hoping I'd be taking my shirt off tonight." He gave a slight shrug as he leant on his elbow and swirling his drink.

"You can dream about that, but it won't be happening." I said, "So keep that thing on or I'll fly away." My wings stirred a bit. "Hm, okay. But you're missing out." He looked as if he had realised something and sat up, patting himself before he grabbed his jacket and went through it before he pulled out a little velvet bag.

"Before I forget, I got something for you." That flirting demeanour went away and was replaced with something more reserved and almost shy like. He walked on his knees behind me and I slowly turned to see what he had in the bag. "What is it?" I asked. "Close your eyes, it's a surprise." He gave me an expectant look so I did as commanded.

I heard a little clink then something cool sat just above my breasts. His fingers brushed the back of my neck before he said, "You may look now." Hesitation from him got my eyes opening to stare at what it was.

I gasped. It was my mother's necklace. Though it was different, hanging between the wings was a teardrop shaped stone. The colours… I at a loss of how pretty it was. It had deep purples and blues with many flecks of gold's, oranges and reds. Whenever it turned, I caught small glimpses of greens. It was like the stone had captured the deep ocean and fire.

"I found the original necklace broken beside the pathway and knew it was yours. I got it repaired and had the jeweller to add the stone with it. Fire opals in that variety are hard to come across." I was still so mesmerised by the stone, so infatuated with it. Lucien had gone to lengths, I assumed, to get this. "I have to repay you back somehow," I mumbled unable to look away from it. "No, you don't. Actually, please don't repay me. It is just a gift I am returning to you, with a minor add on." He smiled at me, "But I hope you like it at least." I looked up to see him rubbing the back of his head, face turned to the meadow with a light dust of pink on his cheeks.

I giggled, "Oh, someone is blushing. Whatever happened to that confident smile? But no, I am forever grateful for this. The necklace means everything to me… And I really like your personal touch to it." I complimented him. "Oh, thank the Cauldron you like it. I was taking a gamble with the stone, I was going to make it into a necklace either way for you." He explained, his grin coming back. "Well, I like anything that's sparkly or colourful. This is the best gift ever." I said attentively.

And with that, we had drank and nibbled on the fruits. Once the two bottles were gone and half the fruit is eaten, with a wave he sent it to some pocket between the world and we snuggled closely together. I allowed myself to rest my head on his chest, one arm draped over his stomach. I was giggling at some story he was telling me, though my head was buzzing from the alcohol but I started to trace his skin, beginning from his collarbones, then down the crevices of his pectorals and then his abdomen.

He trailed off with his story, his body going rigid under my touch. I stopped just above his navel before I sat up, propping myself up with one arm braced beside his head. I held his gaze, my hand moving up to cup his face, "Ever since you 'accidentally' touched my wing, have you wondered what else it could do to me?" I asked, my words a bit heavy on my tongue. "I haven't really thought of it, why?" He slightly cocked an eyebrow as I drew my hand down back to his chest, tugging the strings a little. "Well, since you've been intent to arouse me tonight…" I didn't fully straddle him, more like sit just above his leg as I took his hand and pressed it to my side.

"Vi, are you sure… You are drunk, you're not thinking-" I hushed him with a shake of my head, "I know what I want, Lucien. And I want… I want you to touch me." He took an intake of breath, "Tell me again, tell me." He gulped, his other hand resting on my thigh. His hand inched closer, my body beginning to grow hotter and my blood thrummed. "Touch m-me Lucien, please," I whispered, my eyes lidded.

He sat up as those fingers found the base of my wings and I arched into him, a gasp coming from me. Everything disappeared the pain, the incessant worry over my life and was replaced with the spark of pleasure that shot down my spine and through my body.

My wings shuddered as he trailed his fingers up the arm and along the bend. I wrapped my arms around him as I buried my face into his neck, my moans muffled. I could feel something hard press against my leg, a whine entwined with his name made him adjust me so I was now propped on his lap. Lucien lay back, pulling me down so he could pepper my jaw and neck with small bites. His tongue that licked after a bite was sublime; the sensation of that velvet skin along the shell of my ear almost broke me into an explosion of gratification.

But I knew he had a part in this, keeping my climaxes to a minimum. He was building it up. Pulling all my anger and my devastation and mixing it with the release he knew I had to let go

With one hand stroking my wing the other gripped my waist and guided me to move. I was a bit hesitant to go to that point, to feel him but… 'But what?' My own voice echoed, and a jolt of ecstasy made my hips find its home downwards. Oh, oh the feeling sent my mind whirling and my hips moving in time with his long, deft strokes along my feathers.

I gripped his hair as I heard soft groans rumble from him, the combination of our bodies moving together and my wings getting attention… Oh Cauldron, it was a sensation I could not understand. My soul was being torn then remade as he unwound me over and over, moaning my name as if it was a prayer.

It was an exquisite thing, to hear him, begging for me to go harder and some inner instinct told me to do it. I pulled back and braced my hands on his chest; this position made it easier to ground my hips against his. "Viviana-" His short rasps pulled my attention, there was nothing but that carnal need vivid in that eye.

A final release began to grow, like the fire in the pit of my soul, and I became more needy and ravenous. I took his hand from my hip and pressed it against my breast, he looked a bit unsure but I moved his hand to show I wanted it. "I give you my c-consent to touch… So touch." I tilted my head back until his other hand moved to knead my breasts. But an invisible hand was still trained on my wings, still dancing along every part of it, still pushing me closer to the cliff I could see coming up fast.

"Viviana, yes, oh Cauldron!" I was so hot, my body slick with sweat as the fire began to move higher and higher, the untamed flames wickedly burning brighter along that light. My body writhed under the scorching frenzy until I fell over the cliff.

The build up that he held from me shattered the hinges as euphoria tumbled out and got me seeing a white light. The sensation had completely undone me, a loud cry of his name sent a few birds flying into the sky as that chamber or whatever it was emptied of the longing and the craving of being touched.

I stayed atop him, shaking uncontrollably as pleasure still wracked my body. Whatever that was between us, it seemed to tighten its hold and anchored us. As if accepting this was accepting a little bit of him. I panted hard before I fell onto my side. Reality seemed to have left my body as I was still relishing in that sweet embrace, still moaning his name over and over as I imagined what that bulge in his pants would feel like buried deep inside me.

But like most things, the high drifted away on wisps of smoke and left behind a comfortable throbbing sensation. Even my dark powers marvelled at the feeling and settled with a content sigh, and when I opened my eyes I found Lucien gazing at me with such awe and wonder.

I wordlessly pulled myself back to him, my arms numb as well as my legs as he helped me rest my head on his chest. He was still shaking a little, I figured maybe because of the… The thing we did, it felt intimate yet it didn't. He did not see me naked, but he sure as hell felt me against him and hearing my moans… I blushed at the thought, I doubt he'd ever let it go and use it to his advantage.

The thought brought a forbidden eagerness.

Lucien grabbed his jacket and gently laid it atop me, despite the sky growing a lighter shade of violet I fell asleep. And in the many years of my life, I dreamt of something pleasant. My body was light as I flew high in the sky, the wind whispering sweet nothings in my ears and the sun a golden disk in the clearest of blue skies warmed my skin.

And when I landed, I ran into the arms of my future.


End file.
